


Love Me As You Are

by ladyxdaydream



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Getting Together, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kakashi's POV, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre & Post Shuriken Incident, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, kakairu-centric/endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyxdaydream/pseuds/ladyxdaydream
Summary: Kakashi isn’t thrilled about becoming a jounin-sensei; his team is irritating on the best of days.Being in the village more often comes with its own set of perks though, namely in the form of an impassioned chuunin.When Iruka suffers a devastating injury, Kakashi is forced to deal with emotions he never knew he was capable of feeling.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Mizuki/Umino Iruka, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 202
Kudos: 489
Collections: KakaIru 2019 Mini Bingo!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My final fic for the kakairu bingo, filling the prompt for mutual pining. I don’t know if it counts as a bingo until the fic is complete—I’ll let the mods decide—but I wanted to at least get the first chapter/couple chapters up before the deadline on March 1st. 
> 
> This started as a oneshot and evolved into a multi-chapter fic. Surprise, surprise, lmao. This fic is complete. The rest just needs some heavy editing. Hopefully I’ll be on a regular posting schedule, if life doesn’t get in the way. 
> 
> This takes places pre & post shuriken incident. I really wanted to explore Iruka’s healing, since you know, it was completely glossed over??? 
> 
> Warning, there is Iruka/Mizuki, but nothing explicit, and the interactions are short. Writing this bastard was… challenging *grumble* mostly because I hate him so much. 
> 
> anyway! onto the fic. I hope you enjoy it!

“I’ve had one hell of a day,” Gekko said, falling into an open chair. “Can I join you guys?”

“You’re already seated,” Asuma said gruffly, puffing on a cigarette. He blew the smoke towards the ceiling, before snaking an arm around the back of Kurenai’s chair. She poked him in the knee beneath the table, a silent way to say  _be nice_. 

“The more the merrier,” Genma announced, widening his arms in invitation, ignoring Asuma’s prickly reply. “But you can’t sit there, I’m afraid.”

Gekko frowned.

“Why not?”

“That’s Kakashi’s seat.”

“Is his ass so special it’s got it’s own real estate, too?” Gekko growled, refusing to move. He scooted his chair closer to the table, solidifying his possession of it. “He’s already treated like some sort of God around here.” 

Genma smirked, seemingly delighted at having to explain.

“He likes to stare at a a certain schooltea— _ow_ , fuck,” Genma cursed, when Asuma elbowed him in the ribs. “What the hell was that for?” he barked, rubbing at the accosted spot.

But it was too late. Gekko had lifted his eyes to the bar, observing the occupants lining the stools.

_“Iruka-sensei?!”_ He all but spit, laughing hard at the idea. “That smartass chuunin who works the mission desk? I guess he’s nice to look at,” Gekko mused, unimpressed. “Especially if his backside is taken into consideration.” 

Asuma curled his lip in obvious disapproval.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut,” Asuma warned, his husky voice seemingly reverberating around the table. 

Gekko’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to figure out if that meant now, or… what the hell that actually meant. 

“Our dear friend is rather shy when it comes to matters of the heart,” Gai explained dreamily, his head propped up on an elbow he was resting on the tabletop. “We’re afraid Kakashi’ll close up if we let on that we know, ruining any hope of him making a move.”

Asuma flicked his cigarette butt at Gai, hitting him square in the forehead, before it dropped directly into his drink with a quiet sizzle. Gai just laughed, giving Asuma a thumbs up for his perfect aim. Kurenai giggled quietly into her hand. Asuma turned his head to glare at her, too.

“I dare you,” she said, her red eyes narrowing to challenge whatever Asuma was contemplating. 

Asuma softened his gaze, his mouth tilting into a small smile.

“Maa, you always start without me,” Kakashi complained, sauntering towards their table.

“Try being on time for once,” Asuma said, tearing his gaze away from Kurenai to chastise his friend.

“I thought you were on a mission, rival!” Gai exclaimed, straightening up to lift his glass in welcome. Some of it sloshed over the edge and into his lap, soaking the crotch of his spandex. 

“I was. I just got back.” 

Kakashi brushed debris off his vest as proof. He had bypassed the mission room for the bar, knowing his friends would be there, opting to turn in his report tomorrow… for reasons that had nothing to do with who’d be able to collect it then.

_“ Ha ha!_ Quick as ever, I see,” Gai said, taking a sip from his drink, the cigarette butt still floating on top. “Have a seat, my friend.”

Kakashi hovered since his usual spot was taken. His brain failed to recognize that there were, in fact, other empty chairs he could take.

The whole table stared daggers into Gekko.

“Oh, right.” He mumbled, scooting to the next chair over. “The sensei seat.”

Kakashi’s hand froze on the bottle he’d snagged from the middle of the table.

“The what?” he asked, cocking his head to the side as he dropped into his seat.

Asuma got up, his chair screeching back. He lifted Gekko by the collar of his vest and dragged him somewhere that wasn’t their table. He returned a second later, a new cigarette perched between his lips. No one batted an eye or questioned his motivation. Weirder things had occurred.

“Your friend isn’t allowed to sit with us again,” Asuma mumbled around the cigarette he was lighting. He sent a pointed look in Genma’s direction. 

“ _My_ friend?” Genma balked, waving the smoke out of his face. “We’ve been on like… two missions together. Just because we’re both tokubetsu jounin doesn’t mean we’re bff’s.”

“Why would— _whoever that was_ —call this ‘the sensei seat?’” Kakashi asked, oblivious. “He can’t possibly know. I haven’t officially accepted yet.”

There was an awkward silence at the table. Everyone averted Kakashi’s eye like they were trying to avoid a genjutsu, which made zero sense to him since his Sharingan was covered. 

Just as he was about to open his mouth and ask what the hell was going on, Genma spoke, changing the subject.

“You’re going to have your own team of brats? Congratulations!” Genma shouted, attempting to slap Kakashi on the back. Kakashi caught his hand before it could make contact. 

“That’s fantastic news, Kakashi-san!” Gai gushed. “The young future of Konoha will be blessed to have a sensei as hip and cool as you! I’m ecstatic to share in this adventure with you!”

“Welcome to the fold,” Asuma said, raising his drink. “Kurenai’s taking on a team, too. Looks like we’re all in this together.”

“Minus me, because _fuck_ _ that_ _,_ ” Genma said, attempting to free his wrist out of Kakashi’s grip. He smirked around his senbon when he was successful, unaware that Kakashi had  _let_ him go.

All that aside, Kakashi understood a deflection when he saw one. They hadn’t answered his question.

“What is it? What aren’t you all saying?” Kakashi said, trading glances with the four of them.

Avoidance again. Kakashi picked Gai as his target, knowing his closest friend wouldn’t be able to resist. Sure enough, Gai cracked under his gaze.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of Rival! It happens to the best of us,” Gai said, reaching out to grasp Kakashi by the shoulder. Kakashi let him, unlike Genma.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kakashi said, genuinely clueless. 

Genma laughed, leaning back against his chair. He rolled the senbon across his teeth, before plucking it out with his fingers to speak. 

“You think we wouldn’t notice who you put in your line of sight all the time? For a genius, you’re pretty dense, Kakashi. We’re shinobi. And you’re not subtle.”

Kakashi lifted his eye past their table, utterly confused, before it landed on Iruka a second later.

_ Sensei-seat. _

Kakashi felt himself get hot all over.

“It’s a noble crush, Kakashi!” Gai said, throwing his head back in a boisterous laugh. “Iruka-sensei’s a wonderful man!”

Kakashi wanted to slink down in his chair and disappear. Better yet, split the ground and tunnel away. Maybe defect to another village. Start a new life as a farmer with plenty of space for his ninken to run free.

“Is it that obvious?” Kakashi groaned. 

Who was he kidding. He wasn’t going anywhere. He was stuck in this miserable existence for however long he was cursed with life. 

One by one, everyone voiced their answer.

“Completely,” Kurenai replied.

“Definitely,” Genma said, senbon between his teeth again.

“Nothing catches your eye like that, rival! It’s beautiful! Let it blossom!”

Asuma just grunted, giving him a sympathetic shrug. 

Great. It was unanimous. 

Kakashi ran a hand over his face, sparing a quick glance at Iruka’s back.

_**Shit.** _

Iruka had first caught Kakashi’s attention during the sole mission they’d run together. He wasn’t exceptionally skilled in combat, and his killing intent left a lot to be desired, but Kakashi had found Iruka highly intelligent, inventive, and unbelievably creative. Not to mention, Iruka had dared to put in his own input after orders had already been given. Kakashi didn’t change his original orders, but it did make him think over something he might have otherwise missed. The mission was botched in the end, and as much as Iruka had insisted on taking the blame, it wasn’t solely his fault. 

They didn’t interact much after that, aside from the mission desk. Kakashi had heard that Iruka requested to be taken off active duty in order to teach. He’d also heard that the Hokage had appointed Iruka to look after Naruto, and that peaked Kakashi’s interest again, if only for the fact that while he had a desire to check in on his sensei’s son, he could never bring himself to do it. Not in the way Naruto needed, anyway. He needed a warm, bright presence, and Kakashi was too drawn to shadows.

Kakashi had decided to observe Naruto’s guardian when he wasn’t out on missions, wanting to know Naruto was in good hands. It was the least he could do. Kakashi wasn’t sure when it stopped being that, and started becoming something else entirely. 

Naruto  _was_ in good hands. Hands that were covered in chalk by lunch. Hands that showed the future of Konoha how to throw shuriken and wield kunai. Hands that healed and soothed small cuts and bruises. That circled small backs to quell crying. That sliced through the air when his patience ran out, pointing menacingly at difficult jounin. 

Kakashi was quite enamored with Iruka’s hands, thank you very much. 

He often wondered if they were calloused or smooth, scarred or clean; what they would feel like running across his own skin, his own scars. 

He thought he’d been subtle with his admiration. Apparently not. 

Damn it all to hell. 

Kakashi stood up from the table.

“Now you’ve done it,” Asuma said. “Good fucking job, Genma.”

“Oy, Kakashi! I was just giving you shit…” Genma said, turning his body towards Kakashi as he left.

Kakashi ignored him. If his friends knew about his crush (namely Genma), it was only a matter of time before it reached Iruka. It was a fucking wonder Genma was sent on so many undercover missions, because he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut when it came to village gossip. Kakashi didn’t give a damn about what most people thought of him, but with  _this_ _,_ Kakashi had some pride. If word of his crush was going to inevitably reach Iruka, he wanted it to come from him, and him alone. 

Kakashi came to a halt beside Iruka’s stool at the bar, who stopped the conversation he was having to turn and look at him.

“Yo, sensei,” Kakashi said, giving him a small wave.

“Kakashi-san,” he replied, wrinkling his nose in confusion. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, to start, you could join me for dinner tomorrow.”

Guess he was getting right to it. Nothing like being forward. No time like the present or some shit.

“Eh, e-excuse me?” Iruka stuttered, scratching at his cheek.

Kakashi frowned beneath his mask. What about that was hard to understand? Kakashi wasn’t well versed in the ways of romance, it’s true, but he knew how to string some sentences together. He had been clear, right?

He shifted on his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets as he tried again.

“Two people eating together. Side by side, usually,” Kakashi said, shrugging his shoulders lazily. “Sometimes they talk. Though I’d prefer if you talked and I—”

“—I know what it means to eat dinner together,” Iruka snapped. “But wh—”

Kakashi reached out, placing a hand lightly on Iruka’s shoulder.

“—I’m asking you on a date, Sensei.”

The guy to Iruka’s right seemed to choke on his drink.

Iruka flushed magnificently, eyes flicking to Kakashi’s hand for a moment. 

“Oh—I—well—um… I’m seeing someone,” Iruka finished lamely. “I’m sorry.”

It looked like Iruka was genuinely regretful, or maybe it was wishful thinking on Kakashi’s part. He let his arm drop back down to his side, fingers still tingling from the contact. In all of his observance of Iruka, Kakashi had never gotten the impression there was a significant other. 

The idea sat sour in his stomach. He would have rather had Iruka turn him down outright than make an excuse.

“Maa, Sensei. If you’re not interested, just say so,” Kakashi teased. “I’d rather you not lie to soften the blow.”

Iruka seemed to fight through several emotions, before settling on irritation. 

“I don’t _lie,_ ” he practically hissed through his teeth. He huffed out a breath before continuing. “I’m not lying. I respect you enough to tell you no, if your invitation was unwanted.” 

The phrasing wasn’t lost on Kakashi. So if the invitation wasn’t unwanted then…?

Iruka hesitated, before softening his face along with his voice. 

“It’s…recent. We just started seeing one another.”

Kakashi rocked back on his heels, surprised. This had officially surpassed his preconceived plan. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, embarrassed. He’d never been turned down before, not that there had been too many chances. Iruka was the first person he’d ever taken the initiative to ask out. It was always the other way around, and the propositions were far less innocent. Kakashi really hadn’t contemplated rejection. He should have. 

“Uh, right. Well, I wish you the best with… whoever you’re seeing.”

If Kakashi was the type of person to wince, he’d do it right here, but instead he kept his expression as neutral as ever. Iruka, on the other hand, let his emotions play openly across his face. Kakashi couldn’t pin point what they were exactly, but it didn’t make the rejection any easier. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you,” Kakashi said, not knowing what else to say. He gave Iruka a polite bow, and spun on his heel before he could embarrass himself any further. 

~

Kakashi plopped back into his seat, feeling dejected. 

“So how’d it go?” Kurenai asked, excitedly leaning over the table towards him.

Kakashi reached for the bottle of sake, pouring himself a generous cup.

“Apparently, he’s seeing someone,” Kakashi scowled, surprised by his own frustration.

“So the rumors are true then,” Genma sighed, wrapping himself around his glass on the table.

Kakashi downed his own glass in a blink.

_“ What_ rumors?” he asked, his voice straining around the new burn in his throat. 

“‘Zumo saw him making out with Mizuki in an alley yesterday,” Genma said with a shrug. 

Kakashi straightened himself in his chair.

“You think you could’ve told me that before I made a fool of myself, Gen?” 

“Kissing doesn’t mean you’re dating,” Genma pointed out. “How the hell was I suppose to know you were getting up to march over there?”

“I don’t  _march_ ,”  Kakashi said, perturbed. Genma rolled his eyes. “And who the hell is Mizuki?”

“He teaches at the academy with Iruka,” Asuma chimed in, sounding none too thrilled. "I don't know much about him, aside from Iruka’s childhood ramblings, but it didn’t leave a positive impression. If they're involved, that's news to me." He reached for the cigarette resting behind his ear, but thought better of it when Kurenai gave him a  _ look_. “They were in the same graduating class. He’s a chuunin, too.”

That meant nothing to Kakashi. He still couldn’t picture the man. He barely had a handle on all the jounin in Konoha, much less anyone else.

“You know,  _Kakashi_ _,_ ” Genma slurred, his tongue heavy in his mouth. Whether it was from the alcohol, or pricking himself intentionally with the senbon, was anybody’s guess. They all had their quirks. “If you want help getting your mind off Iruka…” He arched an eyebrow suggestively in Kakashi’s direction.

Kakashi grumbled, ignoring the offer. Genma’s flirtations were nothing new—he had been coming onto Kakashi shamelessly for a month now. If the tokujo had approached Kakashi a year ago, he would have leapt at the offer, but he was trying to stop fucking his friends. It no longer served the purpose it once did, and he always left a complicated mess in his wake. 

Was it so unrealistic to want intimacy? Probably, for someone like him. But Kakashi couldn’t help aching for it, knowing two of his friends were holding hands beneath the table. If it was possible for Asuma and Kurenai, then maybe there was a chance, however small it was.

Kakashi sighed, his eye being drawn to Iruka as the younger man’s laughter filled the bar. It was such a magnificent sound—light, full, _whole_ —as if Iruka had never experienced anything terrible in his life. Kakashi knew that wasn’t true, Iruka had his own sufferings, as did every shinobi, but somehow Iruka still managed to make music. Kakashi didn’t know if he could laugh like that anymore. He couldn’t even remember the last time he truly laughed to begin with.

He closed his eye and let the sound tickle his senses. Goosebumps broke out across his arms, as he fought off the urge to shiver. 

_ I’m seeing someone. _

Iruka’s voice rang clear in his ears, the information dropping like an anchor in Kakashi’s gut.

He opened his eye to fiddle absently with his glass, running a finger around the rim, his gaze being magnetically drawn to Iruka again. He hadn’t been assigned another mission yet, and probably wouldn’t be, considering his new pending status of  _sensei,_ so he decided to assign himself one.

He was going to observe this  _Mizuki._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was interesting for me to write. I’ve never navigated a conversation between so many people at once. I hope it came out alright! 
> 
> Your feedback, in any form, is very much appreciated. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! ♡


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I’d like to preface this by saying thank you for all your comments & excitement. It’s amazing! 
> 
> Second, I just wanted to say that this is NOT one of those “iruka is weak” stories. This is written in Kakashi’s POV, so we can’t see into Iruka’s mind, but I promise there will be some explanations.

Kakashi didn’t have to do much reconnaissance to figure out who Mizuki was. When he posted up in his favorite tree the next day, Mizuki had walked into Iruka’s classroom like he belonged there, crowding Iruka on all of his breaks. It made Kakashi’s skin crawl. Even from a hundred meters away, Kakashi could read Iruka’s body language loud and clear—either Mizuki wasn’t paying attention, or he didn’t give a shit.

Neither of those reasons boded well with Kakashi. He hated him already.

What bothered him the most though, was that Iruka seemed  _different_. Where was the man who had notoriously chewed out Genma for handing in a soiled report? Who had put Ibiki in his place when he wanted to extract one of Iruka’s gifted students straight from the Academy to work for T&I? If Iruka didn’t want to be touched in his classroom, which seemed to be the case, then why wasn’t Mizuki’s arm broken and dangling at his side? Iruka let himself be backed into a corner instead. Let Mizuki grope him until the other man seemed to get his fill.

Things were not looking good.

And then they got worse.

Kakashi had found Mizuki’s classroom and observed it for a while. The chuunin spent the majority of the day with his feet on his desk, treating every question from a student as if it were an annoyance. The kids seemed dead, a stark contrast to the life radiating from Iruka’s classroom down the hall. And it wasn’t just because Mizuki’s teaching methods seemed to be _engage as little as possible._ There was something else. It was as if the children had already been taught they were mindless tools for the village. Which, in retrospect, was regretfully true, but this wasn’t ANBU, dammit. This was their classroom; it should be a safe haven. They could come to terms with their service to Konoha when they were a little older. Right now, they should still have that playful spark of curiosity. Of innocence. Of _childhood_.

All the things that were stripped from Kakashi when he made chuunin at six. Then jounin at ten.

He wouldn’t wish the same fate on anyone else.

…But then again, he never had anyone to tell him to slow down.

Kakashi wondered if he would have walked the same path, if he had had an academy instructor like Iruka. Someone who would’ve cared about his development as a human first, and a prodigy second.

The only person who saw Kakashi like that was Gai. If Gai hadn't fought for him to be pulled from ANBU, he didn’t know where he’d be. Most likely dead, possibly from his own doing. There was a time where he didn’t have much regard for his own life. He still didn’t have much regard for it; he was mostly alive out of spite. Kakashi thought he deserved to suffer beneath the weight of the atrocities he committed. He spent more time at the memorial stone than his own apartment, spoke more to the dead, than the living. He already had one foot in the grave, and some days it seemed natural to just… join them.

Despite Gai’s flowery welcome speech at the bar last night, Kakashi knew Gai had been the one to suggest he become a jounin-sensei to the Hokage. Kakashi appreciated his friend’s intentions, but he highly doubted babysitting a trio of genin was going to help improve his dreary outlook on life. He couldn’t even take care of himself, for fuck’s sake. He disassociated to get by, kept his nose stuck in a book so he didn’t have to interact with the world at large. He thought he’d be more of a liability than a leader.

Kakashi flickered back to the tree outside Iruka’s classroom. He was bored as hell watching Mizuki—he wasn’t nearly as witty, or brilliant, or dynamic.

…What would Iruka think about Kakashi’s new sensei-status?

Kakashi shook the thought out of his head. That was stupid. Iruka didn’t know him, not well, and probably wouldn’t like him if he did. But for some strange reason, Kakashi  _wanted_ to become someone Iruka could like. And not just because of his own crush. Because it…it would mean he was on his way to becoming fully human again, if someone like Iruka could find something other than his physique attractive.

That was his problem in the past—people wanted his body, but not his baggage.

He couldn’t blame them, really. He never put in much effort to shed it.

Whatever Iruka’s type was, Kakashi was pretty sure Mizuki wasn’t it.

Which begged the question: what the  hell was going on here?

~

Kakashi spent the rest of his afternoon lounging in a shady spot in the forest. He’d summoned his ninken for a cuddle, and the heat of eight other bodies had caused him to doze off into a nap, book splayed open across his chest. 

He wouldn’t have woken yet if it wasn’t for the horrid smell accosting his senses.

“Okay, that was just foul,” he complained, rolling onto his side as he tried to pull his mask further up his face. “ _Rude_. Who let it rip?”

Kakashi rolled back over, and lifted his head to survey his summons.

“Bisuke, was that you?” he asked. “I feel like it was you. I know your brand.”

Bisuke’s muzzle scrunched into a smile, showing his teeth.

“You know what they say, small but deadly,” the dog quipped.

Kakashi pursed his lips in thought.

“Pretty sure that’s not how that goes,” he said. “But alright.”

Kakashi sighed, and squinted at the sky. He plucked Akino’s sunglasses from his snout and draped them across his own face, before plopping into the grass again. The sun had shifted since he’d fallen asleep, slinking it’s way towards the horizon. He freed his face from his mask, inhaling the rich smell of the forest floor.

If this is what being stuck in the village meant, it wasn’t half bad.

Kakashi stretched his legs, disturbing the rest of his kin, who all shifted around, disgruntled. A gurgling growl came from somewhere in the pile, causing Kakashi’s lips to tilt into a smile.

“Whose hungry, hm?” Kakashi cooed, poking at several soft bellies, looking for the culprit. Guruko batted him away with his leg.

“Uh, I think it’s you, boss.” Pakkun replied, foot thumping as he scratched behind his ear.

“Me?” Kakashi asked in disbelief.

The loud sound happened again.

“Definitely you,” Bull grunted.

“Have you forgotten to eat again, pup?” Uhei asked, rubbing his bandaged head against Kakashi’s knee affectionately.

“No, I had…” Kakashi frowned, as he sat up to think.

Shit. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and judging by the light, it had to be around 5:00 now.

“You need to take better care of yourself, kid. I was told to make sure you’re properly fed. Pop’s orders.”

Kakashi sighed. No matter how many times he told Pakkun not to mention Sakumo, it never dissuaded the dog.  


He rubbed absently at his chest where his heart lay.

Food was probably a good idea… that is, until he remembered what time it was. Pestering Iruka was an even  _better_ idea. He still had a mission report to turn in after all. 

He was suddenly filled with new vigor to move. 

“Maa, I guess I better take care of that,” he said, patting his own stomach in show. “Now leave me alone, all of you.” 

It might have been rude, if it wasn’t for the small smile on Kakashi’s face. 

After Akino snatched his glasses back with his teeth, they all dispersed with a loud _pop_.

~

Halfway to Hokage Tower, Kakashi remembered that the mission report rolled up in his vest pocket was still blank. He came to a stop in front of the alley leading to his favorite hole-in-the-wall. Guess he was going to eat first, after all. He sighed, annoyed at being sidetracked, and made his way inside. 

The place was small and linear, with only a narrow path between the bar and the booths. His favorite booth was all the way in the back against the wall, the partitions high enough to hide the person behind it. It was rather dark inside due to the heavy curtains pulled halfway down the windows.

Kakashi slid into his spot, positioning himself to face the door, and ordered the usual: grilled saury with eggplant and rice. 

He smoothed his mission report on the table, holding it open with his water glass. He snickered at the ring it immediately soaked into the parchment, already bleeding his name and rank details at the top. He trudged on, periodically stopping to bring his chopsticks to his mouth. He wondered how much Iruka would flip if he ‘accidentally’ dropped food on it. Best case scenario, Iruka would make him re-do it and Kakashi could sit beside him as he did, taking his sweet time, basking in the man’s presence. Worst case scenario, Iruka would yell himself hoarse, but Kakashi secretly liked that, too. It made him feel like someone cared about him.

Just as he was contemplating dipping his saury  _generously_ in soy sauce, he felt a familiar blaze of chakra accompanied by a signature he didn’t recognize. 

Kakashi dropped the fish back into the bowl, using his chopsticks to imperceptibly pull the curtain away from the window. 

Naruto, he expected.  _Mizuki,_ he did not. It seemed that ever since Kakashi had learned the man’s name, he was popping up everywhere—alongside people he cared about no less.

Why was Mizuki walking the streets with Naruto in broad daylight?  _Nobody_ walked the streets with Naruto. Unless it was himself, but he did it casually from a distance. And obviously there was Iruka, but that goes without saying.

Kakashi wished he could believe the intentions were friendly and companionable, but he was too seasoned of a shinobi to be optimistic. He could smell trouble. Literally.  _With his nose._ It overpowered the rank odor of fried oil permeating this place.

As much as he wanted to follow them, he opted to finish his report. If he dicked around any further, Iruka would have his head for turning it in a full two days late. Despite that sounding strangely fun, he was going to be a jounin-sensei next week, and he figured his head was kind of required. 

~

Kakashi was slouched over their usual table at the bar, nursing his drink.

“What’s that pout for?” Asuma chuckled, filling their space with a cloud of smoke.

Kakashi was thankful for the filters in his mask or he probably would have died from second-hand smoke by now.

Kakashi picked himself up, only to slouch in the opposite direction against his chair.

“I’m not pouting.”

He was pouting. His interaction with Iruka at the mission desk had been anti-climatic. Iruka had been cordial enough, but he was in a bad mood, leaving the exchange short and and a little curt. He didn’t even criticize the report, just gave it a quick stamp and ushered Kakashi on his way.

“Hm,” Asuma grunted, ashing his cigarette in an empty glass. “Whatever you say.”

It was just the two of them tonight, which meant there was little conversation. Gai and Genma usually carried that weight. But Kakashi didn’t mind. He was comfortable in Asuma’s presence, and their silences were always companionable.

“Maybe that’ll cheer you up,” Asuma said, lifting a finger from his glass mid-sip to point towards the door.

Kakashi, who had been drawing mindless circles in the condensation of his own glass, lifted his attention in that direction.

His spirits rose as Iruka walked in, only to plummet when Mizuki followed close behind.

Goddammit.

“Or maybe not,” Asuma corrected himself.

Kakashi watched as the two of them fell into stools at the bar. Mizuki loudly ordered their drinks, seemingly already drunk, before swiveling around and catching Kakashi’s eye for a brief second.

When their drinks arrived, Mizuki grabbed Iruka by the back of his vest, and staggered them both towards their table.

Kakashi lifted his eyes to the heavens. Fuck. As if his life didn’t suck enough. Why, out of all nights, did there have to be so many empty chairs at their table?

Mizuki apparently took that as an invitation, dropping his ass into one. Iruka hesitantly sat down next to Asuma, who ruffled Iruka’s hair affectionately.

Iruka shot a small, embarrassed smile at Kakashi in greeting. Kakashi would be lying if he said his heart didn’t skip.

Apparently Mizuki had noticed the exchange.

“HEY, Kakashi”—  _hiccup—“_ san, no hard feelings,” Mizuki slurred, while patting Iruka on the chest sloppily. “I’m not mad you asked my boyfriend out.”

“ _Mizuki_ ,” Iruka hissed, horrified. Iruka looked at Kakashi, desperately trying to communicate something. 

Too bad Kakashi wasn’t telepathic. 

Kakashi fixed Mizuki with a bored stare.

“I wasn’t worried that you were,” he drawled. 

“Though I’m not sure why Iruka’s on  _your_ radar,” Mizuki laughed, completely bypassing Kakashi’s response. “He’s cute but…” Mizuki batted at Iruka’s ponytail with his hand, much like a cat with a toy. 

Asuma gripped his glass tightly. 

Iruka, on the other hand, seemed to be transfixed with his lap. It looked like he was biting hard on the inside of his cheek.

“But what?” Kakashi asked, his blood starting to heat. 

“But you’re  _Sharingan no Kakashi,_ and Iruka is—”

“—Iruka-sensei is what?” Kakashi pressed, quicker this time. He let his chakra flare for a second, charging the atmosphere, before he tamped it down. It was fast enough to make you believe it never happened at all.

Mizuki blinked back his surprise, before that stupid, shit-eating grin was plastered to his face again.

“Well, he’s really not that remarkable in comparison, is he?” Mizuki laughed, pinching at Iruka’s cheek.

Iruka knocked his hand away and abruptly got up from the table.

“Oops,” Mizuki said, widening his eyes sarcastically. “Guess we’re leaving.”

“Yeah, you better do that,” Asuma said stiffly.

Kakashi was on his feet, too, unaware of when he had actually stood up.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Asuma warned.

“That’s not saying much,” Kakashi replied, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Exactly,” Asuma winked. 

Kakashi made his way to the door, not sure where he was going. He hated those fucking idiotic words that came out of that bastard’s mouth. He hated the way he touched Iruka; it was belittling and insulting. Iruka’s behavior bothered Kakashi yet again. He wasn’t cowering, per say, but he was biting his tongue, and coming from Iruka that was sort of the same thing.

Kakashi stopped just outside the doorway, where Mizuki was having a smoke.  


“Iruka’s in the bathroom,” he said, as if to explain why he was still here.

Kakashi almost rolled his eyes. Iruka wasn’t in the bathroom. In fact, Iruka was no longer at the bar. Kakashi had his chakra signature memorized, and it was nowhere to be found. Not that he was going to share that piece of information with this asshole.

“So, humor me,” Mizuki started, snuffing out the cigarette with his sandal, before his glassy eyes bored into Kakashi. “What does an elite like you, see in a non-combatant chuunin?”

“You tell me,” Kakashi countered, knowing an advantage when he saw one. No fucking way was he going to  _humor_ Mizuki. He had better things to do. Like reverse psychology. “You are the one dating him. You must know as well as I.”

“Not really,” Mizuki blurted automatically. “He’s always going on about that damn ‘Will of Fire’. It’s annoying as  _ssshit._ I don’t get why everyone thinks he’s  _soooo sspecial.”_

Mizuki took another swig of his beer. 

“The Hokage favors him. And for what? ‘cause his parents are dead? Big fucking deal,” Mizuki spat. “We all have trauma.” 

“ _Hm_. ” Kakashi hummed, encouraging him to continue. Getting Mizuki to spill was easier than he thought. It didn’t even require his Sharingan, fancy that.Good thing, because it was taking all of his concentration to keep his chakra in check. 

“I helped him,” Mizuki declared suddenly, reaching out the hand clutched around his beer bottle to point at nothing in the dirt. “On the teacher’s exam. He wouldn’t be the village’s ‘ _precious sensei’_ if it wasn’t for me,” Mizuki scowled. He kicked at the ground, swaying a little. “And then the Third held back  _my_ jounin promotion ‘cause of ‘ _misconduct_ ’ on a mission?  _Tch._ ” He scoffed. “Iruka couldn’t do what I did, I’ll tell you that. He’s too much of a coward.”

Oh. So  _this_ was the chuunin who had suffocated his own teammate. Kakashi had heard gossip from Genma about the case. 

“And he  _sssidles_ up to that nine-tailed, ramen-eating brat,” Mizuki continued, seemingly lost in his own rant, confirming Kakashi’s suspicions about Mizuki’s intentions towards Naruto. “It’s pathetic. Stupid fucking monster fox…”

But Kakashi was only half-listening now, alarm bells blaring in his mind. If Mizuki was capable of killing his own teammate, what was he capable of doing to a lover? To Naruto?

“…I’m half tempted to give him to you,” Mizuki laughed. “But Iruka’s too much fun to play with.”

Now  _that_ brought Kakashi back to the conversation, his vision turning white. As  _if_ Iruka was an object to be passed around…

Kakashi’s body was moving before his brain had time to catch up. He fisted the front of Mizuki’s vest.

“If you  _ever_ lay a hand on Iruka…” Kakashi seethed, straightening up to his full height. He wasn’t sure what he was accusing Mizuki of, but it felt right. 

Mizuki was either extremely drunk, or a dumbass, because he didn’t so much as flinch in theface of Kakashi’s threat. 

“I lay my hands on him all the time,” Mizuki said suggestively, his lip curling into an ugly smile. He looked down to where Kakashi held him, amused, before meeting Kakashi’s eye again. 

“Fascinating. You  _actually_ like him. Thought it was an insubordinate kink. A sensei fetish— _hey! fuck!“_

Mizuki staggered backwards as Kakashi shoved him away.

Kakashi’s fingers twitched at his side, eager for a fight. It would be so  easy to pummel this bastard with taijutsu alone. He could even pull out his book in the process, just to mock him.

Kakashi resumed his slouch instead, collecting himself, breathing hard through his nose. 

What the hell was that? 

He never reacted on emotion alone. It wasn’t like him.

Before he could find time to be embarrassed, he shot Mizuki one last angry glare, and flickered away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to update this weekly, until it’s complete. I think it’ll be four chapters, possibly five. 
> 
> I had some unexpected extra time this week, so you get two! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for this being a little later than promised. If you follow me on tumblr, you already know I spilled tea on my laptop and almost lost all of my work hdjsbdbc 
> 
> anyway, this chapter is dedicated to HazelBeka, whose recent comments have inspired a friendship, who listened to me complain about my frustrations with this chapter, and read portions of it when I was getting too critical. Thank you, bb!

Kakashi kicked the sheets off himself in annoyance. He knew he wasn’t going to get any more sleep, no matter how long he laid there. He sat up and rubbed at his face, a dull headache pulsing behind his eyes.The nights he spent at his apartment were usually restless; how he could sleep better on missions, with his senses tuned and rigged to wake him, was a mystery.

Mizuki’s face kept floating up to the forefront of his mind. It would have been more satisfying to recall, if Kakashi had broken his nose like he wanted to.

What a fucking bastard.

Anger rippled it’s way through Kakashi’s frame again. He flexed his fingers, trying to quell the hint of electricity crackling beneath his skin. When that didn’t work, he got out of bed completely, rolling his shoulders around to loosen them. One of them gave a loud pop as he stretched an arm up and over his head, arching his torso towards his hip.

The sun was barely a sliver above the horizon, casting the room in a subtle glow. He didn’t have to be able to see the photo to know his teammates eyes were staring back at him.

He straightened up, and turned away from the shelf beneath the window, crossing over to the closet. He wondered what his team would make of Iruka, and his growing feelings towards the man. He pulled a fresh shirt off a hanger and over his head, smiling to himself at the thought. Minato-sensei would have been worse then Rin—that man had been a  _romantic._ Kakashi had had to listen to him gush about Kushina-sensei on more than one occasion.He had rolled his eyes at it as a kid, thinking love was a weakness. 

A distraction. 

A _weapon._

Kakashi was littered with the kind of wounds only love could carve, after all.

Minato had tried to teach Kakashi that the only way for the heart to heal was with more love, but he refused to listen, opting to numb himself instead. 

He joined ANBU. 

Pushed it as far away from his life as possible…

…until Minato and Kushina died in a tremendous act of love. And as enraged and utterly devastated as Kakashi was, he’d be doing his sensei a terrible disservice if he failed to see the message.  A message that conveniently lined up with the one his father had attempted to teach him before spiraling into depression.  The same one Obito had screamed in his face.

** There was more to life than missions.  **

Kakashi was starting to hear it now. He couldn’t ignore the message any longer.  He didn’t want to.

Maybe when he went by the memorial stone later today, he’d tell them about Iruka.

~

  
No matter what Kakashi did, no matter how hard he sweat, nothing seemed to distract him from the urge to rip Mizuki a part. He briefly wondered if he could henge a clone that looked like the man, and then lay into him with all he’s got. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure when he developed such a fierce loyalty to Iruka, but he had. It was a little absurd, considering they were barely past the acquaintance stage. Maybe it was because he’d been wandering around like a stray for the last decade, and consequently honed in on the first person to feed him. If he thought about that analysis for more than five seconds though, it didn’t add up.Other people gave him plenty of attention, though they mostly stroked his ego.

Iruka was the opposite. 

He repeatedly knocked Kakashi down a level whenever he was being a brat, which unfortunately for Iruka, was quite often. Kakashi couldn’t help himself—he intentionally poked at the chuunin, just to get a rise out of him. Iruka had yet to be intimidated, something Kakashi found increasingly attractive by the day.

_ He’s really not that remarkable in comparison, is he? _

Kakashi’s lip curled into a snarl, a low growl escaping his throat. 

He didn’t think there was anything particularly remarkable about himself. Skill, yes, takes a certain amount of inherit ability, but most of it could be refined through rigorous training. Anyone could become an exceptional shinobi, if they had the drive and will to do so. But an exceptional  _person?_

Mizuki had it backwards.

Iruka was everything Kakashi aspired to be. 

Kakashi pushed up his forehead protector, wiping away the sweat that had collected there. He swept the grounds with his Sharingan, making a mental map of where all his weapons had landed, before securing the cloth over his eye again. As he went about collecting them, a new feeling began to itch beneath his skin. It had only been a few days since his last mission, but he was already feeling claustrophobic. Chained. 

Maybe he could squeeze in one last mission over the weekend before being introduced to his team next week. It was a Saturday after all, which meant no Academy, so Iruka might even be there to give it to him.

~

Much to Kakashi’s delight, he found Iruka hunched over the mission desk, scribbling something out with a pen. He was so absorbed in what he was doing, he didn’t lift his head when Kakashi approached. The other attendants at the desk were unoccupied, but Kakashi refused to side-step to the next one. He cleared his throat instead, causing Iruka to finally glance up at him.

“Ah, Kakashi-san,” Iruka said in surprise, before motioning towards his notebook. “I’m sorry, bad habit.”

“I should be the one whose sorry,” Kakashi replied, despite not being sorry at all.

Iruka cocked his head adorably, not understanding his meaning.

“F-for disturbing you,” Kakashi fumbled. “You seemed very focused.”

“Oh,” Iruka laughed, leaning back in his chair. “It’s nothing that can’t wait. Some final notes for the graduation exam on Monday. I’ve decided to test their clone technique, among other things.”

“Sounds tough,” Kakashi joked, his cheeks stretching his mask tight as he smiled.

“Mm, says the man who mastered it at, what? How old were you?” Iruka teased, his eyes sparkling. “Two?”

Kakashi slouched, taking a hand out of his pocket to examine his nails in show.

“…Five. But I could climb walls at two,” he said, holding two fingers up, before placing his hand back in his pocket. “Much to my Father’s distress.”

Iruka threw his head back in a loud laugh. Kakashi tried to keep his eye from running the expanse of his throat, but he failed miserably.

“Of course you could,” Iruka said, once he composed himself.

They stared at each other for longer than necessary.

“So,” Iruka began, breaking their eye contact first. “Are you here to collect a mission, or…?”

Shit. Kakashi completely forgot what he came here for.

He nodded his head in agreement.

“Something simple and quick. Need to stretch my legs,” Kakashi replied, bouncing on his feet to emphasize his point.

Iruka rifled through the missions yet to be assigned, eyeing Kakashi playfully while he searched.

“I think this one will suffice,” he said, handing it over.

Kakashi took it, scanning it quickly. Seemed about right, though rather tedious. Judging by the look on Iruka’s face, that was probably done on purpose. 

Kakashi rolled it up, only to shove it into a compartment in his vest, Iruka staring at him all the while. If Kakashi wasn’t mistaken, it felt like Iruka wanted to say something—like he was teetering on the edge of speaking, but not sure if he should tip.

When the silence got too much to bare, Kakashi gave a small shrug of his shoulders, and turned to go.

He barely got three steps in, before Iruka hesitantly called his name.

“Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi turned back around.

“Do you have a moment?” Iruka asked, standing up.

Kakashi responded by taking a step towards Iruka, who led him a short distance away from the desk.

“I wanted to apologize. For last night.”

Kakashi tiled his head in question. He couldn’t even begin to understand what Iruka had to apologize for. To confuse Kakashi even more, a small smile bloomed across Iruka’s lips.

“I may have told my best friends about you asking me out,” Iruka blushed, scratching his cheek. “Mizuki must have overheard. I don’t want you to think I’d been making fun of you behind your back or…,” Iruka swallowed, trailing off. “I was actually quite flattered,” he continued, gazing at his feet, that soft small returning to his face.

Kakashi marveled at him, his heart pounding a little bit harder in his chest. Iruka truly said exactly what was on his mind. Kakashi wondered what that was like. He didn’t know  what he was feeling most of the time, let alone had the words to pin to it.

…Much like right now.

“Anyway,” Iruka sighed, coming back to himself. “Um. Good luck on your mission, Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi still couldn’t find his voice. There was so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to vocalize any of them.

“R-right,” Kakashi said finally. “See you when I return?”

He hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question.

“I look forward to it,” Iruka smiled. “Come back in one piece, will you?”

The words of worry were unnecessary and they both knew it, considering it was only a C-rank mission. The brief touch Iruka had placed to Kakashi’s elbow when he said it, had been unnecessary too.

Kakashi was suddenly burning up, eager to get outside for some fresh air. He turned to go, but then thought better of it, the question clawing it’s way out of his throat.

“Excuse me if this is overstepping, sensei,” Kakashi started, fighting to keep the emotional strain out of his voice. “But you and Mizu—,”

“—Some other time, perhaps.” Iruka cut in quickly, his eyes flitting about the room to take note of the other shinobi. He lowered his voice. “I appreciate your concern, but I can assure you, he won’t be bothering me again,” Iruka said, his eyes narrowing dangerously.It sent a shiver down Kakashi’s spine—he hoped to never be on the receiving end of  _that._

(If Iruka had plastered hidden seals charged to act like trip wire all around Mizuki’s apartment, unleashing all sorts of nasty traps, well that was no one’s business but his own.)

Kakashi felt stupid for taking a mission now. He no longer wanted to be out of the village. Maybe that  _some other time_ ,  could mean when Iruka was off his shift today.

Well, he couldn’t hand back the scroll now. That would be embarrassing.

Kakashi resigned himself. He’d probably be gone for two days at best. Iruka would be here when he returned, like he always was. With that thought in mind, he gave Iruka a small nod, put his hand up in a wave, and went on his way.

* * *

The minute Kakashi had bypassed Kotetsu and Izumo on his way back through Konoha’s gates, he knew something was wrong. He could read it in their body language. He could sense it in the atmosphere.

Kakashi went straight to the missions room. It was almost nine at night, and Iruka would most certainly be on duty. He was confident Iruka would fill him in, if he asked.

When he walked into the room though, Iruka was nowhere to be found. That was unusual, for more than one reason. In the three years Iruka had been working the mission desk, he’d never missed a shift. Of course, Kakashi hadn’t started taking note until recently, but he knew of Iruka’s perfect record because he was very proud and vocal about the fact.

He’d also seen Iruka in various concerning conditions: zero sleep, a nasty head cold, a righteous hangover, yet he showed up despite them all.

Kakashi pulled his mission report out of his pocket, and approached a man he didn’t know.

“Iruka-sensei must be on his deathbed,” Kakashi joked, in lieu of a greeting.

He immediately regretted it.

The shinobi working the desk shot Kakashi a rather intimidating glare.

“I’ve heard your sense of humor is dry, but that was just fucking insensitive, man.”

Kakashi gaped under his mask, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He never would have said it if it were actually  _true._ He picked that opener specifically for its absurdity. He  _wanted_ the person to contradict him, and consequently tell him where Iruka actually was. The fact that he hadn’t meant…

“What happened?” Kakashi asked, his voice fierce.

The mission desk worker gave Kakashi an assessing look, shooting his eyes down to the report now crumpled in Kakashi’s gloved fist, before he must have concluded Kakashi didn’t know.

“Mizuki happened,” was all he said in response.

That was all Kakashi needed to hear before he immediately flickered away, his mission report falling to the floor in his wake. 

~

"Where’s Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi asked, the second he appeared.

It came out as more of a demand than a question, but the Hokage either didn’t mind, or let it slip. He pulled his pipe out from between his lips, releasing the smoke before he spoke.

“I cannot disclose that information.”

Kakashi’s chakra flared to life in aggravation. The Hokage raised an eyebrow, waving away the ANBU who had dropped into the room.

“Unless you are Iruka’s family, or his significant other….” Hiruzen trailed off, his fingers steepling together. He was clearly giving Kakashi time to say otherwise, but when Kakashi didn’t, he resumed speaking. “…than that information is none of your business.”

Kakashi heaved in a deep breath through his nose. Fucking hell.

“Seeing as you’re already here,” Hiruzen began, ignoring Kakashi’s inner turmoil as he picked up his pipe again. “It seems fit to tell you now. There’s an official meeting tomorrow for the announcements, but your genin team, it will be comprised of U—,”

“I’ll find out tomorrow,” Kakashi said, as politely as he could, uninterested in anything that didn’t concern Iruka at the moment. His genin team was the furthest thing from his mind.   


“As you wish,” the Hokage replied. 

Kakashi took that as a dismissal, and left the office in a flurry, seeking out Iruka’s apartment. He’d never been there before, but he had a general idea—most of the chuunin lived in the same complex. If Iruka was there, he’d find him. If he wasn’t, well, Kakashi was an expert at snooping. Hopefully he could uncover some clues about Iruka’s whereabouts.

When he came upon the building in question, he didn’t have to do any searching. A blazing chakra pinged his senses immediately.

Kakashi hopped from railing to railing, steadily climbing higher, coming to a stop on a small balcony. 

A bright orange back was to him, as he came in silently through the sliding glass door. Naruto immediately whipped around, a kunai whizzing towards Kakashi’s head.

“Oy, Naruto!” Kakashi said, barely dodging it.

“Oh, it’s you,” Naruto said, seemingly unphased as he went back to bustling around the apartment. 

Kakashi plucked the kunai out of the wall.

“You.. eh.. know me?” he asked.

“Yeah. You’re the weirdo who follows me around all the time.”

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed.

Note to self: Naruto is way more perceptive than he seems.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Naruto pressed. “Am I in trouble again? I’m not breaking in! Iruka-sensei is my—my friend!”

“Oh, right. Um.” Kakashi twirled the kunai around his fingers in thought. “No, you’re not in trouble. Iruka-sensei sent me to… to help you…” Kakashi lied, hoping this would spur Naruto to tell him what was actually going on. He held the kunai out to Naruto in truce.

Naruto frowned for a minute before pocketing it. He seemed to accept Kakashi’s lie with nothing more than a small shrug.

“Did Iruka-sensei change his mind about the pants? I knew it! He hates the hospital scrubs, they itch him, so I got these!” Naruto held up a pair of pajamas patterned with dolphins.

_Hospital scrubs._

Kakashi’s stomach dropped.

He eyed the clothing Naruto was holding, smiling despite the situation. 

“Those are hideous,” Kakashi proclaimed, finding them entirely adorable. His mind supplied a precious image of Iruka in them, which he filed away to treasure forever. 

“Well, don’t just stand there then!” Naruto shouted. “You came to help! So help me! Find these books, will you?”

Naruto handed him a piece of paper with a few lines scrawled across it. Kakashi recognized it as Iruka’s handwriting from when he caught the sensei scribbling notes for the graduation exam. If Iruka was requesting reading material, it meant he was going to be there for a while. 

Kakashi crossed over to the bookshelf and picked through the titles, a terrible feeling weighing heavy in his gut.

~

They walked side by side down the street, Iruka’s satchel slung across Naruto’s small body. It was way too big for him, but he refused to let Kakashi take it when he offered. Naruto had protectively clutched it to his chest in response, but at least now it didn’t knock against his calves as he walked. 

It took a minute for Kakashi to adjust to their new proximity, considering he was used to trailing Naruto unknown. Or, well, he  _thought_ it had been unknown. He concluded that he liked this better. It was… nice. And Naruto seemed to enjoy his company despite not talking much. He tried not to take offense that Naruto was a chatterbox in Iruka’s company, and almost mute in his. Besides, Kakashi swore there was a subtle shift in the boy’s chakra—a little more content, a little less chaotic—and that was enough for now. 

When they reached the ramen shop, Naruto darted inside, and Kakashi tried his best to be patient. After all, due to his poorly fashioned lie, he was suppose to be aware Iruka was in the hospital. If Naruto was taking his time, maybe it wasn’t as serious as Kakashi feared. Still, that didn’t mean they should stop for a bowl of ramen…

Kakashi ducked beneath the curtain.

“Naruto…”

“Iruka-sensei’s not suppose to be having solid food right now, but I bet ramen would cheer him up! It always works for me!” Naruto beamed, shoving the bag he was carrying at Kakashi. “HEY, old man Teuchi!” he called, practically hoisting himself on the counter. 

The man appeared momentarily. 

“Can you give me a big container of broth? Can you, can you? It’s for Iruka-sensei!!”

As Teuchi ladled the liquid into a large container, Naruto pulled out his frog wallet, digging around for some non-existent coins.

“I’ll get it, Naruto,” Kakashi said, taking pity on him. The meager allowance the Hokage sent to Naruto each month was barely enough for him to feed himself, let alone someone else. Kakashi had argued as much, but it had fallen on deaf ears. 

It turned out that neither of them had to worry about it, because Teuchi waved them both away. 

“Make sure Iruka-sensei gets better, Naruto-kun! That is payment enough,” the old man said, reaching across the counter to ruffle Naruto’s hair. 

“I will! Your ramen's the best! It’ll make him strong again, just like it made me!"

Teuchi chuckled as Kakashi frowned behind his mask, that peculiar feeling from when he first got back into the village hitting him again. 

“Thank you,” Kakashi bowed, feeling unsettled. “Naruto, let’s go.”

~

Kakashi all but dropped the bag he was holding when he walked into the hospital room. Iruka was laid out on his stomach with more bandages then Kakashi ever cared to see on him. 

What the hell happened here?

Iruka shifted his head towards the door, undoubtedly drawn by the subtle killing intent radiating off of Kakashi.

_“K-kakashi-san?”_ Iruka strained to say, finding it difficult to talk with his throat and chest pressed into the hospital bed. 

Kakashi heard the question in his voice none-the-less. For some reason, it hurt that Iruka was surprised to see him here. Kakashi wished it were considered normal. He wanted to be the one at Iruka’s bedside, and he wanted Iruka to expect him to be there. 

“Iruka-sensei! I brought you ramen!” Naruto said, his voice much too loud for the small room. “The medi-nin said you could have it, if I took out all the stuff that floats in it!” Naruto held up the clear container to indicate that he did, in fact, bring it without the floaty stuff. 

“Ah, thank you, Naruto. That was very thoughtful of you. I can’t wait to have some,” Iruka said, offering him a strained smile. 

“Yeah? Really?! What about right now, huh? I can find a straw or help you sit up or maybe my shadow clon—.”

Kakashi watched as Iruka reached out, a barely hidden grimace on his face, and wrapped his hand lightly around Naruto’s wrist. Naruto quieted immediately. 

“In a bit, alright?” Iruka locked eyes with Kakashi for a second, before continuing to address Naruto. “Why don’t you go and train for awhile? You’re a ninja now after all.”

“And I have your headband to prove it!”

“You do,” Iruka said, smiling in agreement.

“…But nice try, Iruka-sensei. Last time I left they said you tried to get out of bed! I’m not going anywhere,” Naruto said, plopping into a nearby chair.

Kakashi refrained from chuckling. Iruka seemed stubborn enough to do something like that. And they say  _he_ hated hospitals… 

Kakashi had a feeling Iruka was also the type of person to shrug off his condition like it was no big deal, but he wanted details. Fortunately for him, he knew someone who couldn’t keep his mouth shut for shit. It was a low tactic, but he went for it anyway.

“Maa, sensei,” Kakashi said, finally addressing Iruka for the first time since he got there. “I’m gone for two days and come back to this. What did I miss?”

“Nothing—,” was all Iruka rasped out, before Naruto barreled over him.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING, HUH? Iruka-sensei took a fuma shuriken in the back for me!” Naruto shouted, pointing at Iruka. “But I showed Mizuki-sensei! I kicked his ass with my kage bushin! Believe it! Hundreds of me knocked him unconscious! Ha,  HA! ”

Kakashi’s eye widened.

A fuma shuriken?!

It didn’t take a genius to know that Iruka was lucky to be alive.

Did it sever his spinal cord? Could Iruka walk?

Kakashi’s eye flicked to Iruka’s legs at the thought. He was tempted to open his Sharingan and search Iruka’s chakra pathways, but that would be invasive.

_  
I showed Mizuki-sensei!_

Naruto’s voice echoed in his ears. 

Kakashi examined Iruka—his face was pale, poorly concealing his pain. A sheen of sweat glistened on his brow, despite the fact he was trembling slightly.

Kakashi’s mind whirled with a million thoughts, but the most prominent one was: Mizuki did this to Iruka.

He felt overwhelmed. Like he couldn’t breathe. 

He had to get out here—he fucking hated hospitals, even if he wasn’t the one in them.

“Well, Naruto, I trust you to look after him.” Kakashi said, clapping a hand on Naruto’s shoulder, a subtle way to keep himself from keeling over and passing out.

He took one last look at Iruka, before flickering away.

~

The second he dropped into the forest, he propped a hand against a nearby tree. His mask, which had never felt too tight in his life, had suddenly become suffocating. He yanked it down, and pulled in a few harsh breaths.

He knew Mizuki was fucking bad news. HE. KNEW. IT. He had approached the bastard himself and threatened him. 

Fuck.

Why did Kakashi feel like this was partially his fault?

He could have done something. He could have confided in Asuma or Gai or  _someone_ about his suspicions before he’d left on his mission. But he’d just… shrugged it off. Hoping his reputation would be enough to scare Mizuki from— 

God. How arrogant could he get?

Kakashi built up the necessary chakra in his hand, the sound of  _chidori_ steadily screeching its way to life. He sliced through the tree in front of him with one clean sweep, letting out a loud cry in the process, which was lost in the resulting crash.

Kakashi’s chest heaved from the exertion, both the stump and his hand smoking sinisterly in the night.

If Mizuki crossed his path again, he’d be a dead man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is also for Gloomier (because when is it not for gloomier?!?) who acts as my personal narutopedia without volunteering lmaooo and whose fic constantly inspires my work. 
> 
> The seals line was 100% inspired by her root!kakashi/kakairu fic, where she mentioned a seal that has a controlled blast and proximity trigger in one. If you haven’t read [Used To The Darkness ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328701/chapters/53337217/) YOU NEED TO!


	4. Chapter 4

The following morning, Kakashi, along with the rest of the jounin-senseis, were summoned to Hokage Tower. Kakashi was informed that his genin team would include Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura. He knew plenty about the first one, enough about the second, and next to nothing about the third, aside from the fact that her parents were civilians.

The Hokage had tried ringing him into being a team leader in the past. He had failed most of the kids on the spot. He wasn’t sure whether it was because he actually didn’t like them and their teamwork, or he if wasn’t ready to stay in the village. It was probably a mixture of both.

Kakashi was still hesitant about the responsibility, especially now that he knew two of his students were neglected orphans—one boy’s clan was massacred by his own brother, and the other boy housed a force inside him that was responsible for something as equally tragic. Sensei, he could come around to, but stand-in parent? That was something else entirely.

He planned on creating a similar test this year, and seeing how it went. He wasn’t going to cut Naruto any slack just because he knew him. If Kakashi thought he wasn’t ready, he’d have no qualms failing him. Same with the Uchiha boy, despite the gossip surrounding his skill. If Sasuke was anything like Itachi though, Kakashi was bound to believe it. Itachi had joined ANBU as young as he had, and having been Itachi’s captain on more than one occasion, Kakashi had gotten a feel for Itachi’s power. And, well, they all saw what that power was capable of in the end.

On his way out of the room, Kakashi spotted Gai congregated with Asuma and Kurenai, ignoring his exuberant attempt to wave him over. He didn’t have the energy to feign excitement over  _this new adventure!_ when his mind was still preoccupied with Iruka. Besides, Gai had already been a jounin-sensei for a year, Kakashi didn't know what he was so excited about, but that was Gai for you.   


He shoved his hands in pockets and left the building, directing himself towards the hospital, searching his mind for an excuse to visit. He barely made it ten feet, before he darted a hand to his neck. He caught a senbon between two fingers, an inch away from puncturing his skin.

“You could try calling my name,” Kakashi drawled. “Like a normal person.”

“Just trying to keep you on your toes,” Genma said, materializing from the shadows of the trees. He plucked the senbon from Kakashi’s outstretched hand and stuck it back in his mouth.  “And where’s the fun in that? Fuck normal. None of us are normal anymore.”

Kakashi couldn’t argue with him.

“What is it?” Kakashi asked, getting straight to the point. He wasn’t in the mood to fuck around with Genma.

“We’ve got Mizuki in T&I—,”  _That_ got Kakashi’s attention. “—if you found yourself down there, I wouldn’t kick you out.”

Kakashi straightened up, piercing Genma with his visible eye, his mind running a mile a minute. Why would Mizuki be in T&I for what he had assumed was a domestic dispute? Not that he felt any pity for the bastard. He deserved worse than Ibiki, though Kakashi wasn’t sure it  _got_ much worse than Ibiki.

“I still can’t figure out how that knucklehead managed to steal the scroll from the Hokage’s residence though,” Genma said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

…Kakashi was officially lost.

“Genma.” Kakashi said. “What, exactly, are you talking about?”

Genma’s eyes searched him.

“Shit,” he stated. “You don’t know.”

This was the second time in the span of two days that someone had looked at him like that in regards to what happened to Iruka. He hated being out of the loop.

“Why don’t you fill me in?” Kakashi suggested, none too kindly.

“Alright,” Genma said easily, unphased by his coldness. “Let’s go back to my place. I don’t have anywhere to be for another hour.”

Kakashi eyed him skeptically.

“I’m not gonna try and seduce you again,” Genma laughed. “Relax. I do have  _some_ class, even if it’s not much.”

~

“So you’re saying Naruto just waltzed into the Sandaime’s residence and took the scroll of seals?” Kakashi asked, not believing it for a second. There’s no way Naruto could have gotten past ANBU undetected, deactivated the highest quality wards, and done away with whatever measures were put in place to protect the scroll all on his own. 

“ _I’m_ not saying that, Mizuki is,” Genma said from the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a beer. “Which is exactly why he’s in T&I. It reeks of treason, and I’d bet my new set of senbon that Orochimaru’s scent is all over it.”

Kakashi frowned. That was never good news.

Genma plopped on the couch next to Kakashi, taking a long sip of his drink.

“I would have offered you one but—,” Genma twirled a finger in the direction of Kakashi’s face.

“It’s fine,” Kakashi said, knowing he wouldn’t have accepted it anyway. “Has anyone questioned Naruto?”

Genma sighed, removing the bandana from his around his head. He mussed up his hair before answering.

“We tried last night, but he didn’t tell us much. He was still in shock, poor kid. The Hokage told us to back off for the moment.”

“And how does Iruka-sensei come into play here?” Kakashi asked, trying to puzzle it all together.

“When the scroll was announced missing,” Genma started, kicking his feet up on the small table in front of them. “Sandaime-sama sent out several of us to look for it, along with the culprit. Iruka-sensei was the first one to come across them. He saved Naruto’s life, almost at the expense of his own. It appears Naruto returned the favor though.”

Kakashi felt gratitude blossom in his heart. Not only for Naruto’s actions, but for Iruka’s willingness to accept the boy. It must have created a fierce loyalty for Naruto to be able to defeat a ninja almost twice his rank, something Kakashi was still baffled about. But there would be time for more questions later, and he wanted to hear those answers from someone else entirely.

Kakashi stood up to leave, having gotten what he came here for. 

“Aw, leaving already?” Genma asked, faking a pout. “I’ve still got 40 minutes before I need to be back at T&I.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to entertain yourself,” Kakashi said, offering him no sympathy.

Kakashi made to walk past Genma, but he stood up at the last second, crowding Kakashi.

“ _Or_ we could entertain each other,” Genma suggested, hitting Kakashi with a loaded gaze.

Kakashi’s body reacted instinctively, a wave of heat passing over him.

“I thought you weren’t going to try and seduce me,” Kakashi reminded him.

“I’m not. Seduction is a slow art,” Genma said, taking a step closer. “I’m bypassing that.”

Kakashi swallowed, considering it for a fraction of a second. It had been a long time since he’d fallen into bed with someone and honestly, he missed that kind of mindless release.

The back of his neck started to prickle with sweat the more he thought about it. 

“It’d be good,” Genma said with a smirk, knowing Kakashi was considering it. He reached out and curled two fingers around the hem of Kakashi’s shirt. “You  _know_ it’d be good.”

Kakashi didn’t refute it; the man was devilishly handsome, and there was a confidence about Genma he found sexy, but the attraction stopped there. Sex with no strings attached appealed to him once, but Kakashi knew what followed. He’d fool himself into thinking the touch was enough, but a hollowness would eventually creep in. And when it did, he’d leave and never look back.  


That’s not what Kakashi wanted anymore. That’s not how he wanted to live his life.

Even so, he couldn’t stop himself from flirting. He had the power here, and he couldn’t resist taking full advantage of it, especially when Genma was giving it so willingly. 

“You’re right,” Kakashi said, encircling his hand around Genma’s wrist to tug him close. He brought his mouth near his ear, the fabric of his mask brushing against Genma’s skin as he spoke. “It’d be hot as hell.” 

He let that hang in the air for a second, before adding: “Probably.”

Genma dropped his forehead to Kakashi’s shoulder, letting out an annoyed groan.

“Fucking tease,” Genma cursed. 

Kakashi let him go and stepped away, satisfied at the way Genma had melted against him.

“Feel free to use that moment to entertain yourself.”

“How generous of you,” Genma smirked, running a hand over his flushed face. He covered his mouth and sighed, before dropping his hand completely.

Kakashi turned to go, but was hit with a wave of guilt once removed from the situation. He really did just wind Genma up for a brief moment of dominance. This is _exactly_ why he didn’t get involved in things like this anymore. He became a different person, put on a different type of mask.

“Genma…” Kakashi said, turning towards him again, ready to apologize. 

“No need,” Genma laughed, waving him off. “It’s my fault. Thought I’d give it one final shot since I have a feeling you won’t be available much longer.”

Before Kakashi could contemplate the meaning of that, he left.

~

Instead of going back to his own apartment, Kakashi peeked in on Iruka through the hospital window. He was fast asleep. For a second, Kakashi thought of selfishly waking him. He was scheduled to meet his genin team tomorrow morning, and he was feeling unexpectedly nervous. He was hoping Iruka could have given him some sagely words of advice from one sensei to another. 

He observed Iruka’s curled up form on the cot, painkiller seals visible against the bandages on his back. Kakashi recognized the symbols— _the hard stuff_ —it made him a little nauseous just thinking about it. Iruka would be knocked out for a while.

“You shouldn’t be here,” came a voice from the shadows.

“Maa, I wondered how long you’d let me stay.” Kakashi replied. He knew he hadn’t been alone from the moment he touched down on the roof.

The man stepped out to show himself to Kakashi.

“Longer than I should have,” said an ANBU wearing a cat mask.

“I’m glad you’re on his detail,” Kakashi said truthfully.

“Why? So you can take advantage of my leniency towards you, senpai?”

Kakashi smiled. If there was anything he missed about ANBU, it was Tenzo.

“It’s a perk,” Kakashi joked, before turning serious. “And I trust you.”

When a medic came into Iruka’s room, they both stepped out of view.

“I see your heart's thawed out,” Tenzo teased.

“And your tongue’s still loose,” Kakashi cut back.

“You’re not my superior anymore. I can say what I want.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

Cat let out a muffled laugh from behind his mask. They both watched as the medic channeled more chakra into the seals on Iruka’s back.

“I’m happy for you,” Tenzo said, softly breaking the silence.

Kakashi breathed in deeply through his nose. It would be easy to confirm the assumption by simply not refuting it, but he couldn’t do that.

“We’re not together, Tenzo.”

As much as he wished for it, he didn’t want people getting the wrong idea, not when he still had no idea how Iruka felt towards him.

“Still,” Tenzo insisted.

Kakashi gave him a small smile, knowing Tenzo was simply happy he had made a connection with someone at all, regardless of it’s form.

“You should go before someone else notices you.”

Kakashi flashed him a two finger salute in departure, before hopping down from the roof.

* * *

It was eight in the morning, the time he had told his team to meet him at the training grounds. He hadn’t planned on showing up late, but now that the day had arrived, he was prolonging the inevitable. He folded his arms beneath his head on the pillow, and stared up at the ceiling, knowing his life was about to change. He wanted to savor a few more minutes of being _just_ Kakashi, before sensei was tacked on to the back of his name. Though he supposed he lost his name a long time ago— 

_ Son of White Fang. Friend Killer. Hound. Sharingan Kakashi. Copy Nin. Master of A Thousand Jutsu. _

He groaned, turning over in his bed to meet the framed photograph of Minato, Obito, and Rin on his windowsill. With one final sigh, he got up and got dressed. When he was finished, he pulled out a cushioned box from a hidden compartment in his closet. It used to hold his mother’s tea set, but he took it out when his Father died. Sakumo had never wanted to use it, but Kakashi felt differently. It was the one and only way he felt connected to the woman he had never known.

The box held different things now: a green shuriken scarf—rolled up tight unto itself—that his father had knit him, and the medic pack Rin had gifted him when he became jounin. He used to keep it strapped along his waist, but then it got nicked on a mission and his paranoia led him to hide it away, safe from further damage. He picked up the third and final item in the box, clutching the cool metal in his palm. It tinkled as he placed it in his pocket, and headed for the door. 

~

Kakashi had showed up to the training grounds with no expectations, and it was a good thing he did. He never could have predicted what he saw. The kids had the  _worst_ rapport. Naruto yelled. _All. The. Time._ And fell for the easiest traps. Sasuke stayed hidden for the majority of the test, which wasn’t necessarily bad, but he failed to view his teammates as assets. And Sakura, well, since she couldn’t seem to focus on anything but Sasuke, Kakashi decided to fuel it. _ Maybe_ the genjutsu had been a little overkill, but hey, he was new at this. 

Oh, and Naruto could produce shadow clones… hundreds of them. Something Kakashi wasn’t even capable of doing himself. But then again, he didn’t have the kyuubi’s enormous chakra reserve to pull from.

The whole experience was humbling to say the least.

He was left with an urge to find Iruka. He wanted to ask him what the heck he was teaching these kids at the Academy, hoping his team was an anomaly.   


~

Kakashi was about to enter Iruka’s room when a medic whizzed past him and stood in front of the doorway. He vaguely recognized her as someone who had treated him before. 

“Good. You must be the escort ANBU-san was telling me about,” she said. 

Kakashi glanced around the medic to catch a glimpse of Cat landing just outside the window. He flashed Kakashi a quick thumbs-up, before making himself scarce. 

_Fucking Tenzo._

“Apparently.”

The medic shuffled some papers around in Iruka’s file, before handing a list to Kakashi.

“He’s healing very well, all of the wounds besides his back are completely healed. He’s not going to need much aftercare, but I’ve written a few things down. His bandages should be changed twice a day. The wound is no longer fresh, but it should remained covered for at least two more days. Once the bandages are off,”—she held out a small glass jar with an amber paste inside—“this salve can be applied. It’ll help reduce the scarring.”

Kakashi took it, embarrassed. It’s not like Iruka had asked for his help, yet here he was being told how to take care of him. He heard it clink against the bells as he dropped it into his pocket. 

"Umino-san is a stubborn one,” the medic continued. “So please make sure he uses the crutches until his strength is completely restored. No heavy lifting. Or strenuous activity. No chakra molding. You know, the basics. You’ve been in here enough times,” she joked. “I’m sure you know the rules.”

Kakashi didn’t find it funny, mostly because he was too busy internally panicking. Iruka was now looking at them from his place on the bed, dressed in civilian sweats and a loose t-shirt. If he had heard their conversation, he didn’t look bothered by any of it. Kakashi felt the slightest hint of relief. 

The medic turned to address him.

“If you re-injury yourself or feel any sharp stabs of pain or numbness, please come back right away, Iruka-sensei.”

“I will. Thank you.”

With that, the medic twirled on her foot and left. 

Kakashi still hadn’t moved from his place in the doorway. 

“Aren’t you going to offer to take my bag?” Iruka teased, lifting himself up on the crutches.

“Oh, r-right,” Kakashi said, quickly crossing to the chair in the corner where it sat. He slung it across his chest, adjusting it to hang at his side. “You, uh, got everything?” he asked awkwardly. 

“I think so. Now get me the hell out of here.”

~

The walk back to Iruka’s apartment had been in relative silence, but Kakashi was content with that. Despite the embarrassment he experienced in the hospital earlier, he was over the moon to finally be with Iruka outside the mission room, though the circumstances were less then ideal. 

They had come to a halt in front of two flights of stairs; Iruka lived on the third floor. 

Kakashi bit his lip beneath his mask, amused by their predicament. 

“I could carry you,” he offered, not wanting to risk upsetting Iruka’s condition with a body flicker.

Iruka shot him a half-hearted glare.

“…Or I could watch you hobble up every step,” Kakashi said, returning Iruka’s glare with an eye smile. “It’s up to you.”

“Asshole,” Iruka laughed, bumping his shoulder lightly against Kakashi's. He eyed the stairs in calculation, and let out a deep resigned sigh. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Kakashi held out his arms to hoist Iruka up, but Iruka backed away from his reach. 

“Tch. Not like  _that.”_

“You don’t want to be swept off your feet, sensei?” Kakashi teased, relaxing his arms back at his sides.

Iruka knocked Kakashi on the back of his legs with one of his crutches.

“Not like that,” Iruka repeated, though his meaning was different this time. “Get down, will you? I’d like to get home some time today.”

Kakashi crouched down obediently, offering Iruka his back. Iruka climbed up and attempted to grab for the crutches.

“Leave it. I’ll come back for them,” Kakashi said, tightening the hook of his arms around Iruka’s thighs. He willed himself not to notice how muscular they were, but then they squeezed his waist tightly, and Kakashi's cheeks colored.

He pushed extra chakra through his legs and climbed up the stairs. 

When they reached the front door, Kakashi put Iruka down, and watched as he undid a complicated set of wards. He whistled his admiration. 

“Impressive, sensei.”

“Your Sharingan is still covered, right?” Iruka joked. 

Kakashi angled his face in response, his forehead protector still snug against his eye. 

“Why? You got somethin’ I might wanna steal?” 

Iruka threw him a rather mischievous look as he shrugged, before pushing open the door. 

Kakashi followed him into the small apartment. Iruka clicked on a light, and led them through the short hall to the kitchen, guiding himself with a hand on the wall, before it opened into the main room. Iruka dropped into the couch immediately, and sunk back against it. He shut his eyes, the exertion apparent.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Kakashi asked, concerned. 

“ _Okayu_ ,” Iruka said. “But that was hours ago.” Iruka cracked open an eye to look at him. “You can place that on the table here, thank you.”

Kakashi forgot he was still wearing Iruka’s bag. He unwound it from himself and set it down. 

“I’m going to get your crutches, and then we should get something in your stomach besides rice porridge.” 

Kakashi returned a second later, having flickered to get them. He rested the crutches against the back of the couch, and then crossed over to the kitchen.

“Your fridge is empty, sensei,” Kakashi announced, after he pulled it open in examination.

Iruka gave him an incoherent grunt as an answer. 

Kakashi closed the fridge and straightened up. He searched for a pen and a scrap of paper, assuming it wouldn’t be hard to find in a teacher’s apartment. He came across some quickly enough, and scribbled out a list. 

When he was satisfied with what he wrote, he bit into his thumb, crouched low, and placed all five fingers on the floor.

“Yo,” Pakkun said, when he popped into existence.

“Pakkun, take this to—,”

“—Boss,” Pakkun interrupted him, taking a couple of whiffs. “Where are we? The scent’s familiar…” 

The dog spun around in a circle trying to chase the smell. He poked his head around the kitchen counter that divided the room in half. He glanced between Kakashi and Iruka, who was now sprawled out on the couch. “Is that the one you were telling us about? The cute chuun—,”

Kakashi shoved the piece of paper in Pakkun’s mouth to shut him up. He walked the short distance to the front door and held it open. 

“Take that to Sasuke-kun,” Kakashi said, slipping some money into a pocket on Pakkun’s vest. “Tell him to grab Naruto and Sakura for their first mission.”

Pakkun grumbled something about being unappreciated, and ran out the door.

Kakashi returned to scrutinizing the kitchen. He rifled through the cabinets, determined to make Iruka  something in the meantime. He found a bag of sencha leaves, and set to work making tea.  


When it was steeped and strained, he brought it over to Iruka, only to find he had dozed off on the couch. One of the books had been pulled out of his bag, and was left splayed open on the low table.

Kakashi settled himself cross-legged on the floor, blowing on the tea meant for Iruka. He took a sip and paged through the book.  _Ooof_. Fuinjutsu theory. Iruka was a _nerd_. The thought made Kakashi smile affectionately. He’d always found seals interesting, but fuinjutsu wasn’t really practical with his fighting style so he’d never dedicated much time to it. Whenever a mission required those skill sets, he’d always been assigned a fuinjutsu or barrier ninjutsu expert to his squad. That’s how he first met Iruka after all—Iruka was both.

Kakashi continued to browse, his mask resting on the edge of his chin as he sipped the tea. He stopped at a page on the eight trigrams sealing style, recognizing the symbol as the one etched into Naruto’s stomach. He’d only seen it once, the night Minato and Kushina had given their lives to seal the Kyuubi. Kakashi had been the one to grab Naruto from the altar when it was through, and transport him to safety.

He closed the book, not wanting to revisit the memory. He also had a feeling this wasn’t a book just anyone could page through. Iruka most likely had explicit permission.

There was a polite rapt on the door, followed by a series of sporadic knocking. Kakashi secured his mask, and quickly got up to answer it.

“That was not a real mission,” Sasuke complained, the second the door swung open.

“ _Kakashi-sensei!”_ Naruto yelled. “Why didn’t you send the mission directly to me! I told Iruka-sensei I’d take care of him!”

“Shh, Naruto,” Kakashi reprimanded him, restraining the urge to rub at his temples. “Lower your voice. He’s asleep.”

“Not anymore,” came Iruka’s voice from behind him.

Naruto barreled past Kakashi, sticking his tongue out at him in the process.

“ _Oy, be gentle, Naruto, _ _”_ Kakashi heard Iruka say, as he started taking the bags from his other two students.

“Did you get everything on the list?” Kakashi asked, addressing Sakura.

“Yep,” Sakura smiled. “Hey, Kakashi-sensei. I didn’t know you were friends with Iruka-sensei.”

Were they friends?

“Um, we’re—,” Kakashi glanced back at Iruka, as if the words would be written all over him. Regretfully, they weren’t. “…it’s new?” he settled on saying.

Sasuke shifted his stance, looking bored.

“Is that all?” the boy asked. “Or is there more to this  _mission?”_

“That’s all. As long as you take Naruto with you when you leave.”

“NARUTO!” Sakura didn’t hesitate to bellow, sending Kakashi a step backwards in response. “Let’s go! Leave Iruka-sensei to rest!”

Naruto bounded into view. He stopped at the door to give Kakashi a harsh once-over, before taking off after his teammates. Kakashi stood there mystified, aware of the fact he’d just been sized up by a ten-year old. He shook his head with a small chuckle and closed the door. 

As he was heading back into the kitchen, he noticed Iruka attempting to get up off the couch and move. 

“Crutches, sensei.” Kakashi tsked.

Iruka ignored him, making his way to the kitchen on his own.

“You know, they’re really not that helpful for a back injury,” Iruka said, as he slowly sat onto a stool by the counter. 

Kakashi hadn’t really stopped to think about it, but he supposed Iruka was right. 

“You passed them then,” Iruka stated. “I knew you would despite your reputation.” 

Kakashi stopped unpacking the bags; his expression must have revealed his surprise. 

“Who do you think helps Sandaime-sama pair them with their jounin-sensei?” 

Of course. Who would know their abilities better than Iruka?

“I failed them originally,” Kakashi said, continuing to place things on the counter. “But I gave them a second chance to prove they could work as a team. It was Sasuke who reached out to Naruto in the end, if you can believe it.”

Kakashi folded the now empty bags, and set them aside.

“I’m not surprised,” Iruka replied. “They’re constantly at each other’s throats. You don’t pester someone that much unless there’s a spark of some kind.” 

There was a glint in Iruka’s eyes when he said it. If Kakashi tried hard enough, he could pretend he hadn’t just been called out. He turned away to eye the drawers in the kitchen.

“Can I…?”

“Make yourself at home,” Iruka said without hesitation. “I don’t have much, but the basics are there.”

Kakashi settled himself back at the counter once he found a suitable pot, a cutting board, and a knife. 

“Naruto made fun of my hair,” Kakashi said, eager to break the silence. Iruka was just  _watching him,_ and it made him nervous. 

Iruka let out a laugh at that.

“It is unique.”

Kakashi was about to ask what that was supposed to mean, but when he glanced up at Iruka, he looked lost in thought. He was fidgeting with a leaf on a houseplant whose vines spilled towards the floor. 

Kakashi continued to slice up vegetables, giving Iruka the space to speak if he wanted to. 

“I failed Naruto.” 

Kakashi looked up at him quizzically, not following, but Iruka was still examining the plant.

Naruto had clearly graduated, or Kakashi wouldn’t have him on his team. So…?

“He couldn’t make a successful clone for the Academy exam, so I failed him. I agonized over it in bed that night. Not only did I feel like a complete ass, but I felt like a failure of a teacher. Why wasn’t he able to get it, when all the other kids could? How could I have explained it better? Taught it better?” Iruka’s voice shook as he spoke. “Naruto was the _last_ person I wanted to fail. I couldn’t sleep.” 

Iruka’s gaze changed to his lap where he tightly balled up his fists. 

“That’s when I got word Naruto had stolen the scroll. I knew I had to find him, and I knew it had to be me. And by some miracle I knew where he was. I remember being pulled towards the woods. It had nothing to do with chakra sensing, it was just… instinct. So I ran.” 

Kakashi stood completely still, afraid any movement might break Iruka out of whatever was compelling him to confide in Kakashi like this. 

“When I found them, they were already engaged in combat. I stepped in and—,” Iruka swallowed. There was no need to say what happened then, the proof lied beneath his clothes. “But Naruto saved my life. It was incredible. How he learned such an advanced technique, so fast…” 

Iruka let out a small laugh, but there was no humor in it this time.

“You know what’s ironic? That son of a bitch manipulated Naruto into thinking that if he learned a technique from the scroll, he could graduate.” Iruka pinched at the bridge of his nose, trying to contain the myriad of emotions inside him. “Before I passed out, I gave Naruto my headband and declared him a ninja of the Leaf. How could I not? Not only did he create successful clones, but  _shadow __clones_. Hundreds of them.”

Iruka looked proud, but a heavy sadness weighed down his features. Kakashi was able to read it for what it was.

“None of this was your fault, sensei,” Kakashi said, as strongly as he could. He knew what it was like to blame himself. He wasn’t about to let Iruka do the same thing. 

Iruka pulled in a shaky breath, and wiped the tears away from his eyes. He offered Kakashi a weak smile in response.

“You can drop the sensei,” Iruka said, standing up. 

Kakashi’s heart skipped in his chest. 

“I’m going back to the couch. If I fall asleep again, please wake me when the food is ready.” 

Kakashi watched him go, before turning his attention back to meal.

~

They ate their soup together at the table, Kakashi recounting the finer details of his bell test earlier that day. It was good to see Iruka laugh—Kakashi was happy to ease some of his tension, no matter how small. Iruka had let his hair down in his sleep, and either forgot to put it back up, or didn’t care. Kakashi would be lying if he said it hadn’t taken his breath away.

They didn’t talk about Mizuki, and Kakashi knew Iruka was avoiding it, but that was fine. He wasn’t going to push, not when this day had gone so far beyond anything he could have imagined.

He knew it was time to leave; it was getting late, and Kakashi was going to feel like he was overstaying his welcome soon. He wanted to do this again,  _badly_ , but he had no idea how to express it. Instead, he took the piece of paper from the hospital out of his pocket and laid it open on the table along with the small jar.

“One of your medics gave me these. It’s a short list of aftercare instructions, and a healing salve.”

Iruka pulled it towards him and read it over.

“Hm,” Iruka hummed when he was finished. He removed a hair tie from around his wrist and held it out in Kakashi’s direction.

Kakashi looked at it, perplexed.

“If we’re going to change the bandages, I need you to help me put my hair up. I can’t raise my arms that high. I’ve already tried.”

Kakashi immediately launched into a full body blush, sideswiped by the notion. He knew it was obvious, even with the mask, because he felt it spread all the way to his ears. Iruka was polite enough not to tease him about it, thank god, or Kakashi might have really lost it.

He stood up and circled to the back of Iruka’s chair, taking the hair tie from him. Kakashi was grateful for his gloves because his palms had started to sweat. He hoped the slight shake of his fingers would be imperceptible, too.

He gathered Iruka’s hair gingerly, avoiding touching his scalp as much as possible. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to hurt him, but he knew it was a lie. Because of that, the end result was terrible. It slumped loose against Iruka’s head, nowhere near the tight ponytails he usually wore.

“Kakashi-san,” Iruka said, bobbling his head experimentally. His hair flopped about, strands falling out of the tie easily. “Are you serious? I could have done it better myself, and I don’t have full use of my arms.”

Kakashi shifted on his feet nervously, shoving his cursed hands into his pockets.

“If you’d rather have someone else help you, I understand,” Kakashi said, feeling irrationally self-conscious. “I know this is weird...”

Iruka turned around to face him.

“Is it weird?”

“…huh?” Kakashi said, thrown off guard at Iruka’s sudden stare.

“Is this weird?” Iruka repeated, vaguely waving his hand about. “Are you feeling weird? Here, in my apartment?”

Kakashi… didn’t feel weird. Nervous, definitely. On the verge of a heart attack, maybe. Weird? No. In fact, the first thing he’d done was examine Iruka’s fridge and cabinets like he’d been here a million times. He felt himself blush (again! dammit) at the thought.

“I—well—we don’t really know each other.”

“We don’t?” Iruka asked, continuing to stare at Kakashi as if he was trying to figure him out.

“…No?” Kakashi answered, unsure now.

They  _had_ been talking for the better part of a year in the missions room, but did that count? It counted for Kakashi… but he thought Iruka might have higher standards for friendship.

“I can’t believe I let a complete stranger into my house. While I  _slept,_ no less,” Iruka said, feigning shock. “Then I proceeded to have him cook me dinner, as I spilled some of my insecurities.”

Kakashi stood there, dumbstruck. Well, when Iruka put it like  _that._

“I don’t want someone else to help me,” Iruka said, erasing the humor in his voice to replace it with something much softer. “But you’ll have to touch me to do it right, Kakashi-san. Re-do my hair, and then we’ll get to the bandages.” Iruka turned back towards the table, inviting Kakashi to continue.

Kakashi took a deep breath to steady himself, and stepped forward.

“You can drop the  _-san_ ,” Kakashi said, as he pulled the tie free from Iruka’s hair easily. 

He threaded his fingers in Iruka’s hair again, but this time, he let himself feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And leaving lovely comments along the way. 
> 
> I hope this finds you and yours safe and sane during these wild times. 
> 
> The hc of Sakumo knitting came from this wonderful kakairu fic [Tight Knit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22845010/) by Gloomier. 
> 
> Until next time! (*¯ ³¯*)♡


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta admit, this fic started to intimidate me. I’m always nervous to write in-verse, and I started feeling like I bit off more than I could chew lmao 
> 
> BUT here I am! Back with another chapter! I hope you enjoy it. ♥️

Kakashi had almost forgotten what a genin’s first few missions could look like—all the arduous tasks they had to complete that didn’t require any of their shinobi skills. Sasuke was the first to complain, followed promptly by Naruto. They didn’t see how weeding someone’s lawn, or working on a farm, was going to get them any closer to their goals as ninjas.

It wasn’t, but that wasn’t the point. These missions honed a different kind of skill—people skills. It was one of the only times they interacted directly with civilians, crossing the bridge that connected the enormous gap between their lives. (That, and the village sorely needed money, no matter where it came from.)

Most freshly minted genin didn’t have any interest in these missions, all of them keen to prove themselves. Sakura was the only one who took it in stride. She was similar to Rin in that regard; understanding the underlying importance of keeping the relationship with civilians amicable. Kakashi’s own attitude had been similar to Sasuke’s at that age; he had itched for combat, thinking D-ranks were a waste of his time and skill. 

Obito had been an exception, Kakashi remembered. His teammate had actually enjoyed working in the village; so much so, he did it outside of missions too, as if helping little old ladies had been his life’s calling.

Funny how Kakashi would trade almost anything now to have one more day of chasing cats with Rin, laughing as Obito got scratched the hell up, only to have his cuts soothed by Kushina, as the three of them ate dinner with their sensei and his wife at their home. 

Kakashi wished his own students weren’t so impatient to get into the field, realizing how much of a gift these carefree missions were. Soon their lives would change, and they’d forever be in danger. Forever be threatened with loss.

Kakashi sighed as he strolled alongside a very wet Naruto. Today’s mission had involved cleaning up the banks of a local river. It took the better part of the day, breaking only once for lunch.  


Shortly before they were through, Naruto had insisted he was ready to walk on water, which was absolutely absurd, because none of them had mastered walking up trees yet, least of all Naruto.Kakashi had let him be carried away by the current in consequence, before he lazily rescued him with a simple water jutsu—a cresting wave dropping a sputtering Naruto back on the bank. 

Naruto’s oversized t-shirt clung to him now, his jacket tied about his waist. His hair was flat against his head, and he was wearing a very sour expression. Kakashi had to hold back his laugh. He supposed he could have dried him off with a quick wind jutsu, but what kind of lesson would that be? 

He wondered if Iruka would approve of his tactics. He hadn’t seen the other man for nearly a week, too busy with his new team, but Iruka had never left his thoughts. Kakashi constantly wondered how he was holding up—if he had someone to help him with his bandages and made sure he ate. 

Today, he wanted to find out for himself. The sun was still in the sky, but rapidly falling, and as long as he was there before night, he thought it’d still be an appropriate time to show up.

“Naruto,” Kakashi began. “What does Iruka-sensei like to eat? Besides ramen?”

“Hmm…”

Naruto gripped his chin in contemplation. 

“A-ha!” he proclaimed, a finger pointing in the air. “Sometimes, when he can’t take me to ramen ‘cause he has to go to his other job, we’ll share a popsicle! I think his favorite is orange. Which is cool ‘cause that’s  _my_ favorite!”

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. He highly suspected Iruka got orange every time because it was Naruto’s favorite, and not his. The imagery was sweet… until it wasn’t. Until it turned into something else entirely. Something that made Kakashi’s skin flush beneath his clothing.

No. Nope. He would definitely not be bringing Iruka any popsicles.

He’d think of something else.

“Well, kid. This is where we part ways,” Kakashi said, glancing down the side road that led to Naruto’s apartment.

“See ya tomorrow!” Naruto chirped, before darting away.

Kakashi watched until Naruto made it to the front of his building, hopping up into a skip halfway there. For a kid that had been through as much as Naruto had, Kakashi marveled at how much joy he still carried.

“DON'T BE LATE SENSEI!” Naruto bellowed, before disappearing inside.

Kakashi shook his head in amusement.

He continued his slow walk through the heart of the village, hands in his pockets, still not sure what to bring Iruka, when he passed a small bento shop.

His eye lit up. It was perfect. Iruka wouldn’t be able to cook much at the moment due to his limited mobility—getting him a few meals to keep in his fridge seemed like a wonderful idea.

Kakashi sauntered into the shop and looked over the options with a critical eye. He thought he could probably do a better job cooking them himself, but regretfully, he didn’t have that kind of time right now. He settled on buying one of everything that was freshly made today, wanting to get Iruka a variety incase there was something he didn’t like.

He left the shop feeling pretty smug, and made his way to Iruka’s with a full bag in tow. 

* * *

When Kakashi had climbed the last step to Iruka’s floor, Asuma had just turned the corner to descend.

“Ah, Kakashi,” he mumbled around the unlit cigarette between his lips. 

“Yo,” Kakashi greeted him, with a two finger salute. 

Asuma glanced down at the bag, before back up at Kakashi’s face, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Please don’t,” Kakashi groaned. If he was teased about his crush right outside Iruka’s doorstep, he’d be flustered the entire time he was there. It was easier to pretend it didn’t exist.

Asuma moved the cigarette to rest behind his ear, before placing a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder with a gruff laugh. When it stayed there, Kakashi looked up to meet his eye.

“I don’t have to say it, do I?” Asuma asked, curling his fingers into Kakashi’s shoulder.

“Say what?” Kakashi asked in return, eyeing the change in grip.

“You’re my friend, Kakashi,” Asuma stated with no further elaboration.

Okay…? Somehow, that was not comforting in the least.

“And because you’re my friend, I know the…” Asuma sighed. “… proclivities of your past.”

Ah, so that’s where this was going. He did have a reputation among jounin, but that’s hardly who he was anymore. Asuma of all people should know that.

“And because you’re my friend,” Kakashi parroted back, casting a dour look at Asuma’s hand. “Then you’ll know that information is sorely out of date.”

Asuma looked at him hard, no doubt trying to read Kakashi’s intentions. Kakashi wouldn’t usually let someone observe him with such scrutiny, but he had nothing to hide here.

“Hurt him, and I’ll kill you,” Asuma said simply. “That’s me putting it nicely. Unless you’d rather have the details.”

“Nope.” Kakashi answered quickly, sharply. “Got it.”

Asuma smiled then, wide and friendly, giving Kakashi two rather hard claps on the back. With that, Asuma made his way down the stairs, whistling all the while, as if he hadn’t just threatened Kakashi with a slow and painful death.

Well. That could have been worse. At least he didn’t flat out disapprove.

Kakashi sighed and made his way to Iruka’s door. Just as his knuckles were about to hit the wood, he heard Iruka cry  _It’s open!_ from somewhere inside.

Kakashi let himself in, a bit surprised at Iruka’s ability to sense him, considering he kept his chakra pretty much masked out of instinct; an old habit from ANBU he never shook off. Kakashi had a feeling there was a lot more to Iruka than meets the eye, and he wanted to know it all.

He slipped off his sandals, before padding silently through the apartment and out the back door, joining Iruka where he was standing on the balcony smoking a cigarette.

“I see it runs in the family,” Kakashi joked in lieu of a greeting.

Hiruzen and his pipe. Asuma and his cigarettes.

Iruka pushed out a laugh through his nose while he finished the drag he was taking. His hair was pulled half-way back, a style Kakashi had never seen it in before. He drank it up eagerly.

“I’m no Sarutobi,” Iruka said solemnly, exhaling a long stream of smoke.

_Considering the lecture I’d just gotten, I’d beg to differ,_ Kakashi thought.

“And I don’t usually smoke. But,” Iruka took another drag. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Kakashi understood that better than most. There were worse ways to deal with it than an occasional cigarette. Shinobi were creative in that regard, unfortunately.

He observed Iruka as he leaned against the balcony’s railing. There was a faraway look in his eyes that made Kakashi uneasy—the same look he’d seen on Iruka when he’d first been assigned as Naruto’s teacher. Something was troubling him.

“Anything you care to talk about?” Kakashi ventured to ask. Iruka had confided in him once, maybe he’d get lucky again.

Iruka was silent for a long time, continuing to stare out across the village as he smoked. Just when Kakashi had given up hope, he spoke up. 

“I was under suspicion for collaboration.”

“That’s absurd,” Kakashi answered immediately, striding to Iruka’s side, offended on his behalf.

“Is it?” Iruka asked, aiming a fond smile at Kakashi before it transformed into something more sad. “Considering my long friendship with Mizuki, my—” Iruka swallowed around the distaste in his mouth “—recent involvement. The use of Naruto.”  


He took another drag. 

“I have an unusually high clearance level for a chuunin—in the past few years alone, I completely renovated the barrier system around Konoha, and most of the protective wards. Add that to my history of breaking into the Hokage tower undetected as a kid to cause mischief and… it stacks up pretty nicely." 

Kakashi had no time to be impressed—and he was definitely impressed—because Iruka had a point. It did not look good. 

Kakashi frowned beneath his mask. He had a nose for this kind of thing; if there was anything suspicious about Iruka, he’s sure he would have sniffed it out by now. What it  _sounded_ like, was Mizuki implicating Iruka, knowing it’d look solid. 

Suddenly, Mizuki’s interest in Iruka made a hell of a lot more sense, considering his drunken words at the bar were anything but flattering. He really should have broken that bastard’s nose when he had the chance. And maybe a fucking limb or two for good measure.

“I understand it,” Iruka continued with a soft grace that halted Kakashi’s violent thoughts. “If I were Hokage, my suspicions would be high, too. I know they did it with the Leaf’s best interest in mind, so I was happy to comply.”

Iruka took one final drag of his cigarette before snuffing it out. He turned around, resting his elbows back against the railing.

“Watching ANBU raid my apartment was an experience I never thought I’d have though.”

Kakashi clenched his teeth, silently cursing Tenzo for withholding this information. Iruka’s detail hadn’t been for protection, not really. The thought made his blood run hot. Iruka didn’t deserve that type of surveillance. He had almost  _died_ protecting Naruto. 

“Has there been a conclusion?” he asked, willing to fight for Iruka’s innocence despite having no idea how. He’d figure it out, if necessary. 

Iruka nodded. 

“I was cleared. Asuma came by a few minutes ago to let me know.” 

Kakashi relaxed, surprised at the amount of tension he’d been holding. 

“I’m no longer under house arrest,” Iruka smiled, “which is just as well, because I’m starting to go a little crazy. I never thought I’d miss reading horrendously spelled essays, or atrocious mission reports from lazy jounin,” Iruka said, casting Kakashi a playful look. “But here I am.”

Kakashi’s heart stuttered in his chest. Was Iruka implying he missed Kakashi’s terrible attempts at flirting? 

The thought made him warm, even though evening had fallen, and the last of the color had drained from the sky, a chill settling in it’s wake. 

Kakashi desperately searched his mind for something to say that wasn’t  _I miss that too_ _,_ but came up with nothing, so he shifted on his feet, not sure what to do. This was all new to him after all. He wasn’t sure how to get to know someone simply for his own sake. Assign him an undercover mission where he’d have to sidle up to someone to gain information, and he’d do it smoothly and expertly. But this? This was way more intimidating. A different type of danger… that could potentially be just as lethal.

“What’d you bring me?” Iruka asked, pulling Kakashi out of his thoughts as he brushed past him to go back inside. The contact tickled Kakashi’s skin, making the hair rise on the back of his neck.

“Uh, bento,” Kakashi said, following him inside.

Iruka clicked on a light as he made his way to the kitchen.

“I figured it’s probably hard for you to cook right now,” Kakashi said, placing the bag on the counter. “So…” he gave a small shrug.

A soft look shone in Iruka’s eyes, followed by a hearty laugh.

“You’re assuming I cook when I’m not injured.”

Kakashi’s mouth fell partially open beneath his mask.

“You don’t…?”

“I never really learned,” Iruka said, “and I didn’t put much effort into teaching myself either. Which is a shame, because it would have been really useful right about now.”

“I could teach you,” Kakashi blurted, the words tumbling out of his mouth without thinking. Cooking was one of the things he dove into as a kid to keep his mind occupied. To keep other thoughts out.

It was the right thing to say, if Iruka’s smile was anything to go by.

“I’d like that,” he said, moving to unpack the bag Kakashi had brought. “Thank you for these. That was very thoughtful of you.”

Kakashi nodded and looked away, willing himself not to blush. As he examined the apartment in distraction, something seemed different from the last time he was here. All of Iruka’s books from the top shelf had been removed and stacked on the floor. When his gaze returned to the kitchen, it seemed like the contents of his cabinets were lining the back of the counters.

It was a little odd.

“My friends helped me rearrange some things,” Iruka said, reading his mind. “So I wouldn’t have to overreach.”

“Ah,” Kakashi replied, feeling embarrassed for some reason. “Makes sense. H-how are you feeling?” he asked, watching Iruka as moved. He looked stiff—crouching down to stack the bento in the fridge instead of bending at the waist.

“Better,” Iruka sighed, before changing the subject. “Would you like anything to drink? I’ve got beer, soymilk, a couple of  _Ramunes_.” 

He held up one of the colorful glass bottles with a smile on his face.  


“I’m not really one for soda, they’re mostly for when Naruto stops by, but the melon one isn’t half bad…”

“…If you want to die of a sugar rush,” Kakashi teased. “I can’t believe you give Naruto those. Imagining him hyped up on soda is…”

Kakashi shuddered dramatically.

“I like treating him,” Iruka laughed, lifting himself up to close the fridge.  


His smile turned into a mischievous smirk. 

“But it’s all about the crash. It looks worse than chakra depletion, and works like a charm.”

Kakashi couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

“Sneaky, sensei,” he chided.

Iruka blushed at that, and Kakashi felt himself swell with a stupid sort of pride.

“I-I brewed some  _genmaicha_ earlier,” Iruka said, moving towards the stove. 

“Would you like a cup?” he asked, as he lit the stove to heat up more for himself.

“That I’ll have,” Kakashi accepted; he’d always been a fan of the way roasted brown rice rounded out the bitterness of green tea when combined. 

“Speaking of our little hellion,” Iruka said, turning around to face him. “How’s he doing? I’ve… been a little desperate for news.” He let out a nervous laugh, wrinkling his nose to rub shyly at the scar that cut across the bridge. “I’m glad you came by.”

If Kakashi wasn’t so caught on the word  _our_ , the adorable action would have knocked him out.

“Rambunctious,” Kakashi settled on saying, because he figured it was better than  wild. Or unruly. Or straight up annoying on some days.

“I was expecting you to say obnoxious,” Iruka laughed. “That was rather polite.”

“And what if I did?” Kakashi asked, curious.

“You wouldn’t be wrong.”

Kakashi lowered his head, his shoulders shaking in uncharacteristic laughter. He lifted his chin only when the fit had passed.

“I love Naruto like he’s my own,” Iruka continued, when his laughter had died too. “but he made me want to pull my hair out at the Academy.”

_ And what a shame that would have been,  _ Kakashi thought, quickly raking his eyes over Iruka’s hair, still smitten with the way it was casually pulled back.

They moved to kneel at the small table in front of Iruka’s couch to drink their tea, while Kakashi regaled him with tales of the last five days. It took the better part of an hour, and was the most Kakashi had talked in a single stream since what felt like forever, aside from when he had to verbally report missions straight to the Hokage.

When the conversation had come to a lull, Iruka got up and disappeared into the bathroom, returning a second later.

“While you’re here, would you mind helping me with this?” Iruka asked, holding up the jar of amber salve.

It was the same one that had been given to Kakashi by Iruka’s doctor five days ago.

Nervous energy thrummed through his veins. That’s right. The bandages would be off by now.

“Uh,” Kakashi swallowed, trying to push away the memory of barely being able to handle tying Iruka’s hair up. “Sure.”

“Great, thanks. I think it’d be best if you sat on the couch…”

Kakashi perched himself on the edge of the cushion, and watched as Iruka crouched in front of him to sit back on his heels. He stripped off his shirt, and Kakashi prayed to every god that he knew.

“Is it as bad as I think it is?” Iruka asked softly. He shifted self consciously, mistaking the reason why Kakashi had sucked in a harsh breath. “I haven’t looked at it yet, if you can believe it.”

Kakashi allowed himself to examine Iruka’s back. His bare skin alone was enough to fry Kakashi’s brain; add the curves of his strong arms, and his broad shoulders, and Kakashi would be lucky if he made it through this whole ordeal without fainting.

But aside from that, there were also four small seals—one near the nape of his neck, one beneath each shoulder blade, and one by his tailbone. His curiosity about them would have to wait, because Iruka had asked him a question, one he was still waiting for an answer to.

Kakashi brought his eye to the scar. The medics had done a great job healing it, but a mark was inevitable. It was large, and a little jagged. Kakashi found it strangely beautiful, but he doubted that’s what Iruka wanted to hear.

“We always imagine things worse than they are,” Kakashi said. “You should look at it when you’re ready.”

Iruka let out a heavy sigh, reaching back to hand Kakashi the salve without turning to look at him.

Was that the wrong thing to say?

Kakashi removed his gloves and uncapped the salve.

“Um, these seals, should I—,”

“—oh!” Iruka exclaimed. “I completely forgot. You can just strip them off.”

“What do they do?” Kakashi asked, getting to work. “I’m—I’m not that proficient in seals,” he admitted.

“I keyed them to sort of seize the muscles in my back. Restrict their movement, so I don’t twist the wrong way or bend funny, etcetera. It’s like I’m wearing a back brace essentially, but way more efficient. It’s a lot more helpful than those damn crutches, which I haven’t touched since you brought me home,” Iruka laughed.

“Huh.” Kakashi said, peeling off the last one in admiration. “That’s clever, sensei.”

Kakashi knew it was a lot more intricate than it seemed. To be able to restrict chakra in certain areas and keep it flowing in others required extensive knowledge and sharp skills.

“I’m stiff as hell at the end of the day,” Iruka said, rubbing at the top of his shoulder. “But I don’t think I’ll need them much longer.”

Kakashi watched as Iruka’s fingers dug into his own skin. A massage would probably do wonders, but Kakashi was nowhere near ready to be rubbing his hands all over Iruka’s body like that. However, he knew of another way with a similar result.

“I know a technique that might help,” Kakashi offered. “Though it might be a bit… shocking,” he said, smirking at his own pun.

“Alright,” Iruka said, amusement clear in his voice. “Let’s give it a go.”

Kakashi placed all ten of his fingertips on Iruka’s back, positioning one hand near his neck and the other straddling his spine a few inches beneath his scar. He concentrated on pushing tiny trickles of electricity through his hands and deep into Iruka’s muscles.

“Oh,” Iruka flinched in surprise, before relaxing completely. “That’s… That’s not healing chakra.”

“No,” Kakashi chuckled. “It’s not. I shattered my knee on a mission a few years ago. The recovery was agonizingly slow, and I was confined to the hospital. When the joints got too stiff, they placed electrode pads around my knee to channel low waves of electricity into it. It helped a lot, until I realized I could just do it myself.”

Kakashi shifted his hands, moving them to where the other two seals had rested by Iruka’s shoulders.

“How does that feel?” he asked, pushing more electricity, a little bit stronger this time.

“It feels— _ah_ ,” Iruka panted, fisting the fabric of his pants on top of his thighs, “ _amazing_ , ” he breathed.

Kakashi felt desire start to curl low in his belly. 

_Shit_. 

When Kakashi finished, he reached for the salve he had uncapped earlier, and scooped the paste onto his fingers and into his palm. He reached out and began to apply it, trying to think about it as surgically as possible, so as not to fan the spark that had ignited inside him.

Kakashi rubbed the paste down the length of Iruka’s scar, careful not to press too hard, knowing it must be tender still, despite Iruka giving no indication that it was. Kakashi wondered who did this for him when he wasn’t here. He spoke to distract himself from the thought.

“We’re collecting our first real mission as Team 7 tomorrow,” Kakashi said, rubbing the excess salve into his own hands. He screwed the cap back onto the jar and handed it to Iruka. “So if you don’t see Naruto for a few days, that’s why.”

Iruka turned to face him.

“Don’t you think that’s a little too soon?”

Kakashi shrugged, before he realized Iruka was still shirtless, his chest very much on display. Iruka must have forgotten too, because a blush bloomed across his cheeks as he quickly reached for his shirt.

“Naruto’s been complaining,” Kakashi said, eyes respectfully averted. Not that it mattered; he had already glimpsed Iruka’s chest and abdomen—he wasn’t about to forget it anytime soon. “And I doubt it’ll be anything more than an escort mission.”

“Hm,” Iruka hummed, rising to stand.

It felt like Iruka was biting his tongue, but Kakashi couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was, the atmosphere had shifted.

“I should probably get going,” Kakashi said, coming to a stand as well.

Iruka walked him to the door.

After Kakashi had slipped into his sandals and out into the hall, he lingered for a moment. He wanted to insure Iruka would be okay while he was gone without sounding like he was coddling.

“Kakashi-san?” Iruka questioned quietly, patiently, concern apparent on his face.

He knew Iruka was too stubborn to drop the  _san_ like he asked, but that was fine, because Kakashi had no intention of letting go of  _sense_ _i_ anytime soon either. Or ever, really.

“You’ll—you’ll be alright?” Kakashi asked, feeling his cheeks heat, thankful for his mask.

Iruka’s features softened in surprise.

“I think I can manage,” he laughed. “And maybe by the time you come back, you’ll be handing your report in to me.”

Kakashi’s heart swelled in his chest, aching for the familiar exchange.

“I’d like that,” he said.

He turned to leave then, feeling lighter than he had in years. When he reached the top of the stairs, Iruka’s voice calling his name made him halt. He looked back down the hall, to where Iruka was standing halfway out of his door.

“Look after them, will you?”

They held eye contact for a moment, and something about it made Kakashi’s throat tighten.

“With my life,” he promised.

Kakashi bypassed the stairs, and flickered straight home instead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I’d love to know what you thought! This was essentially all dialogue hdjskfj (⌒_⌒;) but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! 
> 
> Please feel free to come chat with me [on tumblr](https://ladyxxdaydream.tumblr.com/) — my inbox is always open!
> 
> ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅ see you next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> massive thanks to SoleStatue & whenimdeadillrest for their feedback on this chapter ♥️

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

It was supposed to be a straight forward, C-rank, escort mission.

Kakashi was no stranger to missions going sideways, but more often than not, they went according to plan. And even if they didn’t, the danger involved usually matched the rank it was assigned. So when two Kiri-nin had launched an attack against them not long after they’d left Konoha, he knew something wasn’t right. 

Kakashi had immediately confronted their client about his suspicion, only to find out Tazuna  _knew_ he would be hunted by ninja, and purposely omitted the information from his escort request.

To say Kakashi had been pissed was an understatement. If Kakashi had known, he never would have accepted the mission. He  never would have brought his team of  _genin_ on a B-rank (or _higher_ ) that involved a shipping mogul and his gang of misfits and rogue ninja.

There was a moment where Kakashi could have turned back—when Naruto had been poisoned and Sakura suggested as much. But then Naruto had cut the poison out of his hand with a kunai and declared he’d never run away from a mission no matter how hard it was.

Kakashi didn’t have the heart to force him back to Konoha after that, so he’d bandaged Naruto’s wound and they continued on their way, hoping they’d seen the worst of the action.

They hadn’t.

Not even close.

Zabuza had appeared. And then  _disappeared_ in a thick veil of mist. Kakashi had opened his Sharingan and let his arrogance get the best of him; thinking he’d already won only to be pulled into a water prison and rendered useless, leaving his team to fend for themselves.

He had never felt more irresponsible in his life.

Though when he’d watched Sasuke and Naruto work together to use the shadow shuriken technique, Kakashi couldn’t help but feel strangely proud. It had been clever and it’d  _worked_ —  forcing Zabuza to release him.

Kakashi had tried to end things as quickly as possible—he copied move after move with his Sharingan, eventually defeating Zabuza by using one of his own techniques against him. But when Kakashi had been reeling back for the final blow, Zabuza had collapsed with senbon littered along his neck—work of a masked ninja who claimed to be a hunter-nin, and therefore responsible for bringing Zabuza down.

Aware of the politics behind such things, Kakashi had let it happen, and then immediately collapsed from chakra exhaustion.

He had spent the better part of a week recovering in Tazuna’s small home. To keep his team busy in the meantime, he trained them how to finely tune their chakra control by the way of walking up trees—Sakura had gotten it right away. Naruto and Sasuke… not so much.

It had given Kakashi plenty of time to think, concluding they’d probably see Zabuza again. When he had analyzed the situation with the hunter-nin, there was something off about the way he had  _taken_ the body instead of destroying it right away, which Kakashi knew was standard protocol when dealing with missing-nin.

Unfortunately, Kakashi had been right. Zabuza was not dead, and the second fight was worse than the first because the “hunter-nin” had joined in— with a fucking _kekkei genkai._

Kakashi had known Sasuke was in trouble, but there was nothing he could have done. He couldn’t split his mind in worry, not when he needed to focus all his attention on saving his own ass.

…And then he had felt it: a dreadful, bone chilling wave of familiar chakra; the signature that had stolen his last precious people from this world—the Kyuubi.

Strangely, the first thing Kakashi thought of was Iruka. He didn’t know how he’d be able to face the other man after this— if he even survived —crushed with the feeling of having let Iruka down. Kakashi had pledged his life to protect his team, and at the time, it had looked as if Sasuke were lying there dead, and Naruto had broken through his protective seal.

As the Kyuubi had overwhelmed Kakashi’s senses again, he shoved the unwelcome memories of that night away, reminding himself that even though he had lost so much, he had gained, too.

He had his team now, and… and he was starting to have Iruka.

There was also Tenzo. And Gai.

Armed with that knowledge, Kakashi had steeled his focus and formulated a plan.

He blocked an attack meant for Sakura, intentionally letting Zabuza cut him across the chest. He whipped out a scroll and used the blood to summon the other thing he had; the thing that acted as his family after his father had died—grooming him, raising him, coddling him—until he recovered enough to go on with his own life.

His ninken had turned the tide completely, allowing Kakashi enough time to regain his footing and get the upper hand.

It was nearly over after that—Kakashi had skewered Haku with a _raikiri_ that wasn’t intended for the boy, provoking another unwelcome memory to flood his mind.

The boy’s action spared Zabuza, but it hadn’t mattered. Kakashi would have defeated him anyway if Gato hadn’t shown up and caused Zabuza to withdraw, losing his motive for their fight entirely.

The rest had been a bloody mess—Kakashi had watched Naruto tearfully scold Zabuza’s lack of interest in Haku’s death, and couldn’t help but hear Iruka’s voice in some of his words. Surprisingly, it had touched something in Zabuza’s core, shattering the demon persona and illuminating the human within—a human who cared very much about the boy who had lived his young life by his side.

Zabuza had used Naruto’s kunai to kill he mogul who hired him, along with anyone else who got in his way. Unfortunately, it had killed him in the end, too.

They had buried Zabuza and Haku side by side, and then they’d left. 

They were less than a mile from Konoha now.

Kakashi carried Sasuke a quarter of the way, despite not having the strength to do so. He did a piss poor job of healing the wound on his chest before they took off, and as a consequence it was still bleeding through the bandages.

The entire trip home was made in a heavy silence.

Kakashi thought he should probably impart some wisdom about what they experienced, but he didn’t have any. How could he explain the conditions that created someone like Zabuza? Or Haku? And how as young shinobi-in-training, they were entering that very same world?

They were all tools, Kakashi included, and oftentimes exploited because of it. Kakashi knew Naruto had caught a glimpse of the system—understood it in his own way—and  _hated_ it. He could feel Naruto still grating his teeth from a few feet away.

(Of course Kakashi didn’t know it yet, but this was his first look at the Naruto who would change the world with his words.)

“Sensei,” came Sakura’s voice.

It was meek. Hesitant. Kakashi learned on this mission that Sakura’s greatest weakness was her confidence. She didn’t know where she fit on the team yet, or what she had to offer. Kakashi needed to fix that.

“What do we do when we get back?” she asked as Konoha’s gates came into view.

“You three should go home and rest. Usually we’d fill out and turn in a mission report, but this requires something different. I’ll take care of it.”

“Mm,” she said with a nod of her head.  
  


Once back inside the village, he saw his team safely home. Naruto departed without a word, Sasuke gave him a curt nod, and Sakura… apparently had one more thing to say.

“Kakashi-sensei,” she called at his back.

“Hm?” Kakashi hummed in question, turning around.

“You should go to the hospital. I wish I could—,” she balled her fists at her sides. “—well, you should get it healed.” 

Kakashi gave her his best smile, the one that curved his eye.

“I will,” he lied. “Thank you, Sakura.” 

* * *

Iruka looked terrible.

Kakashi could see the dark circles beneath his eyes from a few yards away.

He had no scroll to turn in—a report like this needed to be recited directly to the Hokage—but his feet had brought him here anyway. 

The minute Iruka saw him, he got up and vaulted over the desk.

_“Naruto?!”_ he asked desperately, his fingers reaching out to brush Kakashi’s vest, as if he wanted to clutch onto it but was too shy, his hand dropping back down to his side instead.

“He’s fine,” Kakashi replied. “They’re all fine.” 

The relief was so intense, Kakashi had to brace Iruka beneath his elbow so he wouldn’t sway off his feet. He winced at the action, forgetting about the deep cut on his hand where he had blocked Zabuza’s massive sword. 

“You’re hurt,” Iruka observed.

“You’re exhausted,” Kakashi replied.

Iruka was quiet for a moment.

“…You were gone a long time.”

Kakashi’s heart dropped straight to his gut. Imagining someone worrying about him—losing  _sleep_ over him—was such a foreign idea. If it wasn’t for the soft look aimed directly at him, Kakashi would have thought Iruka’s concern was for Naruto alone. 

Kakashi was hit with a strange wave of longing—for what, he didn’t know, but it made him bone tired. 

Someone cleared her throat in the background.

“Why don’t you go home, Iruka-sensei?” she suggested, shuffling some papers around on the desk. “I can handle the rest of the shift on my own. There’s less than an hour left.”

Iruka turned to nod at her, weakly smiling his gratitude, and Kakashi was struck again with how tired he looked. The pair of them must have been a sight—both on the brink of passing out. 

Kakashi walked Iruka home, his mind whirling as he tried to find an excuse to invite himself up without sounding suggestive. When they approached Iruka’s building, he still didn’t have one.It was late, and they were both tired, but Kakashi didn’t want to part.

“Let me clean your wound,” Iruka said as Kakashi turned to go, not knowing what else to do. 

“Oh, uh—” Kakashi stalled. The last thing he wanted was for Iruka to exert himself over him. “—it’s alright. It’ll be fine.”

“At least let me change the dressing then,” Iruka insisted. “You’re bleeding through.”

Kakashi shifted on his feet nervously. He _did_ want to go up, but he also didn’t want to feel like a burden.

“Really, sensei, I don’t think—,”

“—Kakashi,” Iruka laughed. “I’m trying to invite you up. Forgive me. I should just ask directly… Would you like to come up?”

Kakashi flushed beneath his mask. 

“…Yes.” 

* * *

Kakashi situated himself on Iruka’s couch, his tattered vest removed. He had a spare, or well now that he thought about, that  _was_ his spare. He’d have to restock tomorrow, which was fine because he needed new plates for his gloves and another box of shuriken anyway.

Having noticed his shirt beneath was crusted with blood, Kakashi suddenly became self-conscious. He couldn’t tell you the last time he looked in the mirror, and it had nothing to do with being away on a mission. 

…He didn’t need a mirror to know he looked like shit right now though.

Kakashi smoothed a hand over his hair, as Iruka came into the room with a medic bag and a t-shirt balled up in his hand. 

“I really did want to clean your wound,” Iruka confessed with a tired smile. “It wasn’t entirely an excuse.” 

Kakashi readjusted himself on the couch, sitting up from his lean, his heart fluttering in his chest as Iruka knelt between his legs on the floor. He hoped Iruka wasn’t about to ask him to remove his shirt, because he didn’t think—nor did he have the time now—to cover up his ANBU tattoo.

“Push your shirt up, we’ll do that one first.” 

Kakashi rolled both layers all the way up to his chin, and winced at the sight. 

_“Shit,”_ Iruka cursed, as he dabbed disinfectant around it. “You should have closed this before you traveled, Kakashi.” 

Kakashi had never been skilled with healing chakra, especially when it came to himself. It wasn’t beyond his skill level, so there was really no excuse. When he was young, he had relied on Rin. Now he either didn’t have the patience, or lacked a sense of self-preservation. Regardless, he hadn’t tried to heal it before their trip home. It wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind. 

“If this was a fraction of an inch deeper, I’d be taking you to the hospital for stitches right now,” Iruka scolded him, shooting him a glare as he cleaned away the dried blood. 

Kakashi’s lips twitched into a small smile beneath his mask. 

“Well,” Iruka sighed, tossing the soiled cotton pads onto the floor for a second. “I have enough skill to at least mend the skin.”

Iruka rose up on his knees, hovering his hands so close to Kakashi’s skin he could feel their warmth. While Iruka’s eyes were fixated on Kakashi’s chest—focusing on the chakra flowing between them—Kakashi took the opportunity to examine Iruka’s face: his brow knit in concentration, his mouth slightly parted from the effort. 

Iruka was  _beautiful_.

Iruka’s eyes flicked up to meet his, and Kakashi’s stomach dropped in surprise, realizing just how close they actually were, and the intimate position they were in. 

The green glow faded from Iruka’s hands, but they had yet to move away—if Kakashi breathed deep enough, his chest would graze Iruka’s palms.

Iruka’s eyes moved to Kakashi’s mask, to his mouth, and Kakashi held his breath, the tension between them stilling the air in his lungs. 

But then Iruka blinked and sat back and Kakashi’s next breath trembled on the inhale.

“I—,” Iruka cleared his throat. “—I brought you this shirt to borrow. You should change into it,” Iruka said, handing it to Kakashi. “I, um, have a medical mask here, too,” he said, placing it in Kakashi’s lap.

Iruka turned around to fumble in the medic bag, giving Kakashi some privacy.

This simple act of respect made Kakashi want to  _melt._ Anyone else would probably have taken advantage of the opportunity. He decided right then that he’d let Iruka see his face—if it wasn’t for how gross he felt, he’d let it happen now.

When he finished changing, the new mask on his face, Iruka sat down beside him with fresh gauze in hands. 

“Can I…?” Iruka asked, his eyes on Kakashi’s hand. 

Kakashi nodded his agreement. 

Iruka set to work removing the glove. Something about the action made Kakashi feel nervous and exposed—much like his face, his hands were rarely bare outside of his own apartment. 

It was easy work compared to his chest; it had already started to heal and scar over. 

When Iruka finished wrapping Kakashi’s hand, he didn’t let it go. Instead, he lifted Kakashi’s arm up and around his shoulders without a word, shuffling his weight down onto Kakashi’s chest, careful to avoid the injury.

Kakashi sat incredibly still, burning so hot he thought he might sweat, completely thrown off guard by the sudden contact. 

After snuffing out _threat_ and _run,_ he eventually relaxed enough to realize the longing he felt in the mission room earlier was for _this_ —to be close to Iruka. To touch him. To comfort and be comforted. 

Kakashi pressed his cheek against the top of Iruka’s head, closing his eyes to try and calm his erratic heart. He knew Iruka could hear how fast it was beating considering where his ear lay, but Kakashi forced himself to sit through the embarrassment. 

Iruka mumbled something about  _windows_ and  _leaving_ before drifting off to sleep. 

* * *

Kakashi left Iruka’s shortly before midnight, managing to extract himself without waking the other man. He ended up leaving through the window anyway, figuring it was safer than leaving Iruka’s door unlocked behind him.

Kakashi heard a branch scraping across his own window now, but since he lived on one of the top floors, he knew no tree reached this high. He looked towards the glass and the branch in question—some of the leaves waved at him, before the tip of the twig started to pick at the lock.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, fixing them back on his book, which he hadn’t read a word of since he sat down over an hour ago.

_“Senpai.”_

_“Tenzo,”_ Kakashi drawled. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for something to eat,” he said, pushing his ANBU mask to rest on top of his head. “I just got back from a mission. It’s a week day. All the food joints are closed.”

“It’s a good thing I bought groceries earlier,” Kakashi said, tone dripping with sarcasm. “Or you would have been shit out of luck.”

When he’d left Iruka’s apartment, Kakashi skirted into the one convenient store that stayed open later than the rest, making it there a mere minute before closing time.

Tenzo strolled into the kitchen like he owned the place. He opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs, leftover rice from Kakashi’s dinner, and a jar of pickled vegetables.

“Make me  _tamagoyaki?”_

“You come into my apartment at 2 in the morning, raid my fridge, and now you want me to cook an omelette for you?”

“Don’t act like I’m putting you out,” Tenzo said, pulling a mixing bowl out of the cabinet. “You don’t sleep—I know you were just sitting there, brooding. If anything, I’m doing you a favor. You love to cook.”

“How generous of you,” Kakashi said, already getting up to heat up a pan. 

He was secretly grateful for the distraction, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit that to Tenzo’s smug face. 

“So what were you sulking about tonight, huh?” Tenzo said, perching his ass on top of Kakashi’s table. “A certain brown-haired school teacher?”

If Kakashi wasn’t so preoccupied with how his night with Iruka had gone, he probably would have scowled, but instead he said, “I think…. we cuddled.”

“…you think?” Tenzo laughed. “Isn’t that pretty straightforward…?”

Kakashi did scowl now. 

“Like you’re an expert,” he said, cracking the eggs into the bowl. “When was the last time you cuddled something that wasn’t a log?”

“That was _one_ time!” Tenzo cried, removing his mask completely to set it on the table beside him. “And I was wasted. And we were far from Konoha…”

“But still coherent enough to shape the log like—,”

“— _okay!_ Okay. Point taken,” Tenzo said, his ears pink. “So. You think you cuddled?”

“He… he put my arm around him? And fell asleep against my chest. But—I don’t— _what,”_ Kakashi frowned, staring at the eggs he was whisking with a pair of chopsticks. “What does it mean?” he mused, more to himself than anything. 

Tenzo sputtered out a loud laugh.

Kakashi’s head snapped up.

_“ You’ve_ slept on my shoulder before.”

“Kakashi,” Tenzo sighed, shaking his head. “That’s not the same thing.”

“ _I_ know that, but what if Iruka is you in this scenario, and used me because I was there and convenient?”

“You’re not that convenient, senpai. Your shoulders are bony…”

“Why—” Kakashi looked up at the ceiling “—am I even talking to you.” 

Tenzo sighed again, as if he shared the same sentiment.

“If you can’t see how those two situations are different, than you need a lot more help than I can give you. If you hang out with Iruka-sensei long enough, I bet he’ll make it clear.”

Visions of Iruka kissing him flooded Kakashi’s mind. 

Oh _god._ He couldn’t think about that right now, especially since he was pretty sure it almost happened a few hours ago. 

“Speaking of Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi said, changing the subject slightly. He moved to the stove, pouring the first layer of egg into the pan. “You neglected to tell me he was under surveillance for treason.”

“Oh, that.” Tenzo replied with a wave of his hand. “I knew he was innocent so I volunteered for the job. I figured it’d be better for Iruka if I pretended to search through his apartment, then to have one of the others actually tear it a part for non-existent evidence.” 

Kakashi stilled his chopsticks from where he was folding the egg—he was touched at the thought. A lot of people were intimidated by Tenzo—by  _Cat_ —and for good reason; he was _powerful,_ and headstrong. But he was also considerate and incredibly intuitive. 

Kakashi, on the other hand, loved to be petulant. 

“…You still could have told me,” he grumbled, bringing his attention back to the pan.

“You overreact, senpai,” Tenzo stated with a shrug of his shoulders, blunt and to the point as he plopped into a kitchen chair. “Especially when it’s someone you care about.” 

They shared a meaningful look—Kakashi  _was_ the one who busted into ROOT with no plan and extracted Tenzo from Danzo’s grip when they were young. But aside from that, they were in ANBU together long enough for Tenzo to be able to make that assessment accurately. Kakashi’s emotions often got involved; it was one of the reasons why Tenzo had always been a better ANBU than him, and why Kakashi was no longer in the faction. 

“We were just informed the chuunin exams are being hosted in Konoha,” Tenzo said, stretching his arms in the air, before twining his fingers together to brace the back of his head. “The Hokage wants tight security so most of us are being pulled.”

“Are you suppose to be telling me this?” Kakashi asked, crossing from the kitchen to the table.

“No, but I’ll always be your loyal kohai,” Tenzo replied, batting his eyelashes up at him. 

“Aw, how sweet.” 

Kakashi placed Tenzo’s plate on the table with a loud clack and slid it towards him, before slouching into the opposite chair. 

“You’ll find out tomorrow anyway,” Tenzo laughed. “Sandaime-sama is calling a meeting.”

“Mm,” Kakashi grunted, raising an eyebrow in acknowledgment. He had a feeling Konoha was going to host, but it was only speculation until now. 

“You think you’ll nominate them?” Tenzo asked around a mouthful of egg.

Kakashi sighed, recalling their last mission together. That shit had been  _wild,_ but he thought his team had handled it well. They all survived for one, which was just short of a miracle considering what they were up against. Sasuke stood his own against a _kekkei genkai,_ with Naruto fighting at his side. And Sakura had guarded Tazuna with a clear head and a lot of courage. Usually genin accumulated more experience before trying for chuunin, but that one mission alone gave them more experience than if they had completed several real C-ranks. Hell, some  _chuunin_ didn’t even see that level of combat in their lifetime. 

“I don’t know,” Kakashi sighed again. “Maybe.”

* * *

Kakashi had nominated them. 

He had expected some pushback or hesitancy, but what he hadn’t expected was Iruka’s flat out disapproval. And when Kakashi had tried to explain himself—stating that he made chuunin much younger than Naruto is now—it only seemed to make Iruka even angrier. Frustrated at being cut off, yelled at, and misunderstood, Kakashi had lashed out in response. 

Iruka’s face had haunted Kakashi all night—it looked as if he’d been slapped. 

If it wasn’t for the encouragement of Gai—and separately Tenzo—who had both witnessed the exchange, Kakashi would have distanced himself from Iruka as much as possible, go back to admiring him from a far. He had no idea how fix what happened, if it was even fixable, or why the hell it had gotten so heated in the first place. 

But Kakashi’s friends convinced him an apology was a step in the right direction, so here he was, with his fist raised in front of Iruka’s door. 

He gave it a tentative knock. 

The door was swiftly pulled open a moment later, revealing a  _shirtless_ Iruka—his cheeks tinted pink, chest heaving and littered with sweat.

“H-hey…” Kakashi began, trying not to choke on his own spit.

Iruka glared at him, before he turned his back and walked away. 

The door was left open, so Kakashi took that as an invitation, however reluctant it was. 

He slipped off his shoes, and gingerly made his way through the hall. When he turned the corner, he stopped abruptly, his whole body setting aflame.

Genma was casually reclined on the couch—sans vest—looking  _very_ comfortable in Iruka’s apartment. 

Kakashi looked back and forth between the two of them, searching for an explanation. 

He took a hard swallow.

“Am I interrupting something?” he forced himself to ask.

_“Yes,”_ came Iruka’s quick response as he let his hair down, only to franticly gather it up again and re-tie it.

Kakashi furrowed his brow in confusion—Genma  _knew_ how he felt about Iruka. The tokujo was a self-proclaimed slut, but Kakashi  _thought_ they were good enough friends for Genma to draw some fucking boundaries. 

And Iruka… well, it had certainly seemed like Iruka was into him. They  _cuddled._ Kakashi knew he fucked up yesterday, calling Iruka out in front of the Hokage but… he never thought…

“Right…” Kakashi said, feeling his world start to spin. “I’ll just go…”

“Genma was helping me create a therapy regime,” Iruka bit out, his eyes flicking to the equipment lined up against the wall. 

Kakashi’s eye followed, noticing a few lightweight dumbbells, an elastic stretch band, and a rolled up mat.

“The muscles in my back need to be retrained. My range of motion has been shit since the injury.” 

_Oh, well that made sense,_ Kakashi thought, before he narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Genma.

“And you’re just…helping him?” Kakashi asked, knowing from experience that Genma’s intentions were never  _pure_.

Genma shrugged. 

“I was interested in PT and acupuncture before I discovered I liked  _poisoning_ the body’s pathways a lot more than I liked healing them.”

“Charming,” Kakashi deadpanned. 

“Is there a reason you’re here, Kakashi-san?” Iruka asked, exasperation clear in his voice. 

Oof. The honorific was back. 

Kakashi swallowed, his heart beating loud in his ears. Iruka had to know why he was here, but it looked like he was going to make Kakashi say it anyway. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Kakashi said, shifting on his feet. “Privately, preferably. About yesterday.” 

The three of them sat in an awkward silence for a few moments. 

When it became clear Iruka wasn’t going to respond, Kakashi shot Genma a lethal glare.

“Alright,” Genma said with a loud slap to his thighs. “We were done here anyway. Let me know if you need anything else, sensei.” He got to his feet. “I’ll see myself out.”

Iruka gave him a small smile in parting. 

“Well?” Iruka asked, the minute the door clicked shut. “What is it?”

Iruka braced his hands on his hips, and Kakashi’s gaze roamed along the V cut into them.

“Uh…” 

Shit. There was no way Kakashi could talk to Iruka like this.

“Could you—,” Kakashi gripped the bridge of his nose with his fingers and closed his eye “—could you maybe put a shirt on first?”

Iruka grabbed his shirt from the back of the couch and slipped it on. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Kakashi expectantly. 

“Right…” Kakashi said, sticking his hands in his pockets because he didn’t know what else to do with them. “Look, sensei. I’ve—I’ve never been good with words or apologies but… what I said yesterday was harsh… and uncalled for.”

“You  _think?”_ Iruka seethed. “You disrespected the hell out of me in front of our peers, Kakashi! _ ‘Stay out of this?’”_ Iruka scoffed, his eyes flashing in fury. “I will  _never_ stay out of it! Not when my students— _yes_ they’ll  _always_ be my students—are involved!” 

“I know,” Kakashi said, and he did. He truly did. He regretted having said that the moment it left his mouth.

“And then you  _demeaned_ their lives by calling them  _your soldiers_ —”

“—is that not what they are?!” Kakashi cut across him, getting upset. “You’re as much a part of this system as I am, sensei. We both know the truth of it, whether we like it or not. I just called it by it’s name.”

“But they’re people too, Kakashi!  _Kids._ They’re so much more than soldiers…”

“That’s not how I was treated,” Kakashi said before he could catch himself.

Iruka’s mouth fell open with a punched sound.

“Kakashi…” 

His tone was soft and free of the anger it held a moment ago.

“Forget I said that,” Kakashi said, turning away, his cheeks heating up—the last thing he wanted was Iruka’s pity. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Iruka said, shaking his head as he took a step towards him. “I’m not going to forget you said that. It does matter because  _you matter._ You deserved to have somebody stand up for you too, Kakashi. I’m so sorry Konoha failed you.”

Kakashi’s eyes burned with tears—he bit his tongue, refusing to let them fall. Those words pierced him straight through the heart. It was everything he never knew he needed to hear.

“Sit down,” Iruka said, placing a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder as he passed him by. “I’ll make some tea.”

Kakashi unzipped his vest and sat down, grateful for a few moments alone. He scrubbed a hand through his hair and marveled at Iruka not kicking him out. They bickered all the time, but it was usually playful. They’d never actually argued—publicly  _or_ privately—and they’d done both in the past 24 hours. 

Was that okay? Or did that mean Iruka no longer cared? Was no longer interested in… whatever it was they were working towards? 

“Here,” Iruka said, handing him a steaming mug.

Iruka sat down in the corner of the couch, lifting his knees up and resting his back against the armrest. He tucked his bare toes beneath Kakashi’s thigh, and the action made Kakashi’s heart mend and break all at the same time. 

“I thought I ruined everything,” Kakashi confessed quietly.

“Honestly, if you hadn’t come over here to apologize you might have,” Iruka said, taking a sip from the mug he clutched with both hands. “I was really pissed at you Kakashi, but I’m glad you’re here. And even though it doesn’t excuse the way you spoke to me yesterday, I better understand where you were coming from now.” 

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said sincerely.

“Thank you.” 

They sipped their tea in silence for a while. 

“Sensei—"

“—You can stop calling me that.”

“Maa,” Kakashi said with a wave of his hand— _that_ wasn’t going to happen. “…I’m not nominating the kids lightly. I know I made a bad joke about—” Kakashi cringed. “—crushing them, but they surprised me on our last mission. They worked great as a team, and their skills have improved.”

“I’m sure they have,” Iruka agreed easily. “But genin typically run _at least_ five missions before they shoot for chuunin, Kakashi. Naruto has been on one outside of the village. I meant it when I said they need more experience.” 

Kakashi sighed. It’s not like Iruka was wrong per say, its just that Kakashi thought they were ready. And if they weren’t, it’d be a good lesson… though a rather dangerous one.

“How good is your genjutsu?” Kakashi asked, a plan forming in his mind.

“Above average.” 

Kakashi quirked a brow in interest—Iruka must have taken it as contradiction.

“You wanna find out?” Iruka teased, removing one of his feet from beneath Kakashi’s thigh to poke his knee with it.

“No,” Kakashi chuckled, though now he was curious. “But maybe you could put them through a test of your own. See for yourself that their skills have improved.”

Iruka took another sip of his tea, mulling that over.

“Hm. I’ll think about it.” 

They fell silent again, causing the growl in Iruka’s stomach to be heard loud and clear over the absence of noise. 

“Have you not eaten yet?” Kakashi asked.

“What gave me away?” Iruka laughed.

“Why don’t we make something?” Kakashi suggested. “I can give you your first lesson.” 

It felt like months had passed since Kakashi first offered to teach Iruka how to cook, and not a couple of weeks ago. 

“Okay,” Iruka smiled. “And maybe afterwards you could give me some of that… what do you even call it? Lightening therapy?” Iruka laughed. “Genma’s acupuncture didn’t feel half as good as what you did for me.” 

Kakashi smiled smugly beneath his mask. 

“I think that can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! What’d you think? 
> 
> ...we’re all about that slow burn bby XD
> 
> Kakashi really is that butterfly meme like — is this cuddling ??? Lmaooooo
> 
> I wanted to touch on those Iconic Scenes but not rehash them since we all know them so well. I hope it worked! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love on this story—your comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc are noticed and super appreciated! 
> 
> Until next time ( ˘ ³˘)♥
> 
> come say hi to me [on tumblr](https://ladyxxdaydream.tumblr.com/)!!


	7. Chapter 7

Kakashi was standing in the middle of the hall, waiting to intercept his students-- _if_ they were even coming--before they turned in their chuunin exam participation forms to Iruka, who he knew was sitting at a folding table outside room 301.

He was fairly confident they would show up, so all he had to do was wait. He pulled out Icha Icha, flipping it open at random, but only had time to read a handful of lines before Sasuke rounded the corner.

“Ah, so you’ve decided to enter,” he said, pleased, snapping his book shut and placing it back in his pouch. “I’m glad you came together. If one of you hadn’t shown up, none of you would have been able to proceed.”

 _“What,"_ Sasuke sneered. “You never told us that.”

Kakashi shrugged.

“I didn’t want any of you to feel pressured. This is a serious decision and needed to be made accordingly.”

“Heh, this will be easy!” Naruto bragged. “I’m ready, Kakashi-sensei!”

“If you say so,” Kakashi said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He continued to walk with them down the corridor. “How are you feeling, Sakura-chan?”

“Ready,” she replied, with a resolute nod of her head.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Kakashi smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder for a second. He’d had a conversation with her yesterday about where she was in her development, and she seemed surprised and touched by his praise. He was happy to see the effect it had. Confidence looked good on her.

They rounded the last corner, causing Iruka to come into view. The two ninja who frequently worked the check-in point at Konoha’s front gates stood sentry behind him--Kakashi _always_ mixed up their names.

He watched Iruka’s chest rise and fall around a deep breath as they got closer. Kakashi stopped before they reached the table, turning around to face his students. He dropped down into a low crouch, wanting to be at their level.

“I have full confidence in the three of you,” Kakashi began, catching each of their eyes. “Remember: utilize your strengths as a _team,”_ he emphasized, standing back up. “Do your best.”

They all smiled up at him, and Kakashi was surprised by the sudden affection and pride that bubbled inside his chest. He cleared his throat.

“Off you go,” he said, stepping aside.

They handed in their forms to Iruka one-by-one, with Iruka wishing each of them luck, and then disappeared inside the classroom.

Once the door shut behind them, Iruka buried his face in his hands, smoothing his fingers across his brow to rub at his temples.

“Don’t worry Iruka,” the ninja with the wrap across the bridge of his nose said, “the Uchiha kid-”

“-Sasuke-” Iruka sighed.

“-and the pink-haired one-”

“-Sakura-”

“-figured out our genjutsu right away. They’re pretty smart. The loud one though-”

Iruka’s eyebrow twitched.

“-Naruto-”

“-I might be worried about him.’

Iruka groaned, hitting the edge of the forms against the desk to straighten them out.

“I need to go file these,” Iruka announced, standing up. “Since that was the last of them.”

“And we should probably go find Ibiki. Tell him it’s time to get started.” the other ninja said, whose uniform went up to his chin in the same style Tenzo wore.

The two of them disappeared, leaving Kakashi alone with Iruka. The hall suddenly felt too hot and too small, Iruka’s presence pressing in on him and fogging his brain.

“Hold these for me, will you?” Iruka asked, slapping the papers into Kakashi’s chest without giving him time to respond.

Kakashi clutched at them quickly so they wouldn’t fall.

“Uh, sure.”

He watched as Iruka began to break down the folding table. The tension in the air made Kakashi shift uncomfortably on his feet. He was confused by it--they had argued, yes, but the night had ended with them laughing and cooking side by side in Iruka’s small kitchen. He wasn’t sure what changed exactly, but the hostility radiating off of Iruka was obvious.

“Are those two your friends?” Kakashi asked, desperate to break the silence.

“Kotetsu and Izumo? Yes.”

Kakashi tried to burn those names into his memory, now that he knew they were important to Iruka. Though he still wasn’t entirely confident which one was which...

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one without the other,” he said humorously, attempting to continue the conversation since Iruka clearly wasn’t going to. He was grasping at straws here.

“They’ve always been like that; you should see them when they fight together,” Iruka said, fondness seeping into his voice. “How in sync they are. But I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love at 15.”

Kakashi raised his eyebrows, taken aback. “Oh.”

They were together, then. And from the way Iruka said it so casually, it must be common knowledge. Kakashi wasn’t aware of any other publicly gay couple, and for some reason that new information made him blush.

He looked up from his musings to find Iruka standing right in front of him, making his blush burn deeper.

“I can take those back now,” Iruka said, holding out his hand.

“Right.”

Kakashi handed them off, and Iruka immediately turned to leave, making Kakashi’s heart ache in his chest.

“Iruka-”

“- _Nope._ You’re not off the hook yet, Kakashi.” Iruka said with his back to him, walking away. “You’ll learn I’m great at holding a grudge.”

Iruka had reached the stairs and started to descend.

“If anything happens to them, _I’ll kill you!”_ he sang-shouted, his voice echoing through the corridor as he disappeared from view.

Well, shit.

~

While it was true Kakashi was no longer in ANBU, the only thing that really marked his severance from the faction was the change in uniform. The Sandaime still shared intelligence with him that he knew was above the rank of a jounin, and there were missions he was sent on that were _definitely_ ANBU all but in name. He could complain, but most times he purposely got himself involved even when he was ordered to stay out of it. He couldn’t help it. It was in his nature. And truthfully, he didn’t know what he’d _do,_ if he wasn’t working tirelessly for the village. He was a honed tool, crafted to near perfection for one purpose and one purpose only. Having free time meant he needed to create an identity for himself beyond being a soldier, and _that_ was scary. He was still trying to get used to it. He didn’t know if he ever would.

He met Pakkun near the outskirts of the village, having asked a few of his ninken to sniff around for anything suspicious. Tenzo had told him they were amping up security for the exams, so Kakashi decided to do some surveillance of his own.

“Anything to report?”

“Nothing concrete,” Pakkun replied. “Shiba is twitchy and uncomfortable. Her hackles keep rising but she can’t point to anything yet. You know how she is.”

“Mm.” Kakashi replied. Shiba was his most sensitive and intuitive ninken. If she was sensing something, however vague, it was worth keeping them active. “Stay alert. Let me know of any changes.”

“Roger that, boss.”

Pakkun took off into the woods, and Kakashi headed in the opposite direction, back into the heart of the village. The streets were fairly empty aside from civilians and lower-ranked shinobi he didn’t recognize. He knew most of his peers were holed up in the lounge, biding their time until the first two phases of the chuunin exams were over. He _might_ be procrastinating his arrival, nervous to be around Iruka again. Kakashi thought their argument had been swept under the rug, but apparently not.

_“KAKASHI!”_

He turned his head to find Gai seated at a table alone, waving him over.

Kakashi sighed, and sauntered inside, dropping onto the bench across from him.

“Gai,” he greeted.

“What would you like to eat, rival? I haven’t ordered yet.”

“I’m not hungry,” Kakashi replied automatically.

“Nonsense, of course you are!” Gai said, as their waitress approached. “I’ll have the keema curry, and for him…”

Gai looked in his direction expectantly. All Kakashi did was level him with a lazy stare from where his cheek was propped up in his palm on the table.

“My friend here will have the oyakodon,” Gai answered for him.

She left with a polite nod.

“What’s on your mind, Kakashi? You look distraught.”

Kakashi doubted he _looked_ distraught, but Gai always had a sixth sense when it came to his emotions. He sighed, tracing small patterns on the table with his finger.

“Did I do the right thing, Gai?” Kakashi asked quietly. He’d been mulling it over all morning, ever since Iruka had told him he wasn’t _off the hook yet._ “I was confident in my decision, but now... something is making me second guess myself.”

Kakashi didn’t need to say what he was talking about, he knew Gai would know.

“Is that something in the shape of a cute chuunin-sensei?”

Kakashi glared at him and Gai laughed loudly.

“Listen, Kakashi. I agree with Iruka-san about the nomination. I think it’s too soon, but I already told you that,” Gai said. “You know I waited a whole year after their graduation to nominate my own students. It gave them ample time to excel individually, and allowed them to secure their rapport as a team by successfully completing many missions together. Now, they are flawless!” Gai boasted happily, slamming a fist against the table as their food was dropped off.

The minute the smell hit his nose, Kakashi’s stomach growled loudly. It looked like he was hungry after all. Leave it to Gai to know he’d barely eaten today. He eagerly shoveled several bites of chicken, egg, and rice into his mouth.

“However... Those are _my_ students, and I know what’s best for them because _I’m_ their sensei,” Gai emphasized, picking up his chopsticks. “It’s easy for an outsider to judge the decision you made--myself included--and I’m still not saying I agree with you, but I will say this... your instincts have **never** been wrong, Kakashi.” he said seriously. “Not when it’s mattered at least. Not when lives are at stake. You care too much to put your comrades in heedless danger.”

Kakashi sighed, wiping quickly at his mouth with a napkin before pulling his mask back up. He’d scarfed down more than half his bowl while Gai had been speaking.

“Thanks,” Kakashi said, and meant it, despite wanting to argue with him. Kakashi’s life was a pretty poor testament to the safety of the people around him, and he wanted to say as much.

“Be gentler with yourself, rival,” Gai smiled, as if he could read Kakashi’s mind. “You have a reason for nominating them, even if no one else can see it. Trust that.”

Kakashi relaxed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. He _did_ have a reason, even if, uh, he himself couldn’t see that reason very clearly either. He was going off instinct here, just like Gai had said. That, and what he’d witnessed in the Land of Waves. Besides, his own training and development had been similar--constantly thrown into situations he was much too young for, forcing him to adapt quickly. It made him strong and resilient. He was only following what he knew.

They finished the rest of their meal to Gai waxing poetic about the vibrant and varied bird life he’d seen on his last mission to Earth Country. He pulled a colorful feather he’d found on the ground from his pocket and placed it behind Kakashi’s ear, delighted at how bright it was against the silver of his hair.

~

Kakashi entered the lounge with Gai to see exactly what he’d been expecting. Ibiki was already there, along with all of the chuunin proctors, meaning the written part of the exam must be over.

He sat down in a vacant spot on the huge circular couch, eager to find out the results.

“...Anko busted into the place like a bat out of hell. I told her not to make her entrance so fucking dramatic, but when does she ever listen to me,” Ibiki laughed fondly.

“You were just as dramatic!” Kotetsu pointed out. “You scared the living shit out of them with words alone.”

“That was nothing,” Ibiki said with a wave of his hand, and Kakashi believed him. Ibiki was the most terrifying man he'd ever met, yet ironically, one of the nicest. 

“And who threw a kunai at a kid’s exam to tell him he failed, huh?” Izumo asked, pushing Kotetsu on the shoulder. “It left a gaping hole in the desk! You’re lucky that wasn’t Iruka’s classroom or you’d have your ass handed to you.”

Kakashi spared an amused glance at Iruka but he seemed to either not hear the comment or was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to reply.

“I caught the little shit cheating _five_ times,” Kotetsu replied. “He deserved to be rattled a bit. It was pathetic. Some of the other village’s nominees are real sad. I’m proud to say everyone from the Leaf passed... except for the weirdo with the glasses who dropped out. He's tried taking the exam like _six_ times already. I don’t know what his deal is,” he said with a frown.

“The best part…” Ibiki said with a wide smile on his scarred face “... is the Uzumaki kid got through with a _blank_ test. Unbelievable! I don’t know if he’s a fuckin’ idiot or bloody brilliant for banking everything on the final question.”

Everybody laughed.

 _So they passed,_ Kakashi thought, though Naruto’s test was nothing to be proud of.

He watched as Iruka took a sip of his coffee to hide the fact he wasn’t laughing with the rest of them. His eyes shifted around the group, landing on Kakashi last, before he got up and went to stand by the window a short distance away.

Hesitating for a second, Kakashi followed him, coming to stand silently by his side.

“If Naruto dies-”

“-Naruto is not going to die.”

“You can’t promise me that,” Iruka snapped, nearly crushing the paper cup in his hand.

Kakashi sighed. He hadn’t been allowed to tell Iruka about the kyuubi’s chakra flaring to life the minute Naruto needed it to survive in his fight against Haku. He wasn’t sure if that information would act as consolation to Iruka now, or only add to his worries, but it gave Kakashi some comfort, anyway.

“I wouldn’t have nominated them if I didn’t think they were ready,” Kakashi reiterated.

Iruka glared at him.

“You were one of the only people who thought they were,” he fumed. “Even Gai-sensei agreed with me. I thought you’d at least respect your closest friend.”

Okay, so it looked like Iruka still wasn’t done being mad at him yet. He wondered just how long Iruka could hold a grudge, and the thought made him extremely depressed.

“This has nothing to do with respect,” Kakashi said, willing himself to be patient. “I respect your opinion Iruka, I just-”

“-He couldn’t answer _one_ question on that test Kakashi! You heard Ibiki. If he can’t even gather intel successfully…”

Iruka worried his bottom lip between his teeth, his brow pinching with concern. It was then that Kakashi saw Iruka’s anger for what it was--it was a mask for the overwhelming anxiety he must be feeling. Kakashi wanted to reach out and touch him, but they were in public, and... Iruka was still upset with him. It would sting if he pulled away.

“Maybe he was too principled to try and cheat, thinking his teammates would fail if he did,” Kakashi suggested. “He doesn’t do well having to look underneath the underneath. He’s a very literal kid.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Iruka bit out, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kakashi took a step towards him, trying not to be deterred by the wall Iruka was building.

 _“You_ are the one who assembled their team Iruka,” Kakashi said, attempting to infuse comfort in his voice since he couldn’t do it with his touch. “I was just appointed their jounin-sensei.” He shrugged. “You know better than anyone else how well Sakura and Sasuke balance Naruto out. If you don’t trust me and my assessment, then at least have faith in that.”

Kakashi observed his reaction, the way the muscles in Iruka’s jaw strained as he ground his teeth. Little by little he softened, and Kakashi knew a victory when he saw one, no matter how small.

“I trust you, Kakashi,” Iruka sighed. “I just-I’m afraid for them. For Naruto, mostly. _All_ of the rookies are participating this year. That’s never happened before.”

“I understand,” Kakashi said. “But it shows you’re an incredible teacher Iruka, if both Asuma and Kurenai think their teams are ready as well.”

“I don’t know about that,” Iruka laughed lightly. “I still think the three of you are complete idiots for this. Gai-san is the only smart one around here.”

Iruka smiled a little when he said it, and Kakashi sighed with relief at the sight.

“I, um, I brought you something,” Kakashi said, remembering it now that the tension had lifted. He reached into his pocket to pull out a crumpled paper bag.

“What’s this?” Iruka asked, unraveling the top to peer inside. “Manju? Is this you trying to get back into my good graces again?”

“I thought you could use a pick-me-up,” Kakashi said simply. He had ordered them to-go from the same place he ate at earlier. “... and _maybe,”_ he added sheepishly. “Is it working?” he flirted.

Iruka took one out and bit into it.

“Yes,” he mumbled around a full mouth.

Iruka reached towards Kakashi’s face with one hand, causing every muscle in his body to seize and still. Iruka’s fingers brushed his ear lightly, before pulling away, titling his head inquisitively as he held a feather between them.

Oh.

“It’s from a kawasemi,” Kakashi blushed, entirely forgetting it was there.

“What?” Iruka laughed, scrunching his nose in confusion.

“It’s a species of kingfisher… ah, nevermind,” Kakashi said, averting his eyes in embarrassment.

He only knew because he sometimes accompanied Gai on weekend birding excursions, whenever his friend caught wind of a rare sighting or a migration. They rarely had the time, but after the first trip, Kakashi found himself looking forward to whenever the next one may be. It was a surprisingly nice way to relax, even if Gai became so excited he startled the birds away sometimes. It allowed him to travel and get out of Konoha for a reason that didn’t revolve around _murder._

He looked up from the floor when he felt Iruka take a step forward.

“Cute,” Iruka smirked. He placed the bag of manju under his arm, and used both hands to undo a button on Kakashi’s vest. “But you’ll lose it if you keep it up there.”

He slipped the feather inside the open pocket with a wink, all while Kakashi’s heart thumped double time in his chest.

“Thank you,” he said after a hard swallow, his voice a little hoarse. He felt like he’d just been kissed.

“I’m going to grab another cup of coffee but… will you sit with me?” Iruka asked. “I have some grid paper in my bag. We can play gomoku--I’d love to see how well that brain of yours can strategize.”

The flirtation--along with the playful mischief in Iruka’s eyes--warmed Kakashi to his core.

“You’re on.”

* * *

Kakashi woke the next morning feeling uncharacteristically optimistic, despite knowing his team was still trapped in the forest of death. Though he’d managed a few measly hours of sleep, he’s sure his team probably got even less. He hoped they were smart enough to prioritize rest.

Kakashi got out of bed and dressed in his uniform, hit with the memory of Iruka’s hands at his vest. He was looking forward to heading back to the lounge today; yesterday had turned out to be rather enjoyable. Iruka was a fun and challenging opponent, no matter how silly the game. Through conversation, he found out that Iruka had devised the difficult cryptogram for the written portion of the chuunin exam. He apparently enjoyed puzzles, which Kakashi supposed made sense, since he did spend a good part of his life deciphering--coding and decoding--numerous types of intricate seals, wards, and barriers.

He removed the feather from his pocket, and placed it on the window ledge between the framed photographs of both of his teams--his past and present--before heading out the door.

~

Iruka shot up to a sit, only to slump backwards again.

“I thought I felt the pull of a summons,” he grumbled, disappointed.

“That’s the third time in the last hour,” Asuma said, from where he was playing shogi with Genma at a table near the window. “You should get some real rest, Iruka. It looks like you haven’t slept since the exam started.”

 _He probably hasn’t,_ Kakashi thought.

“I could inject some relaxant into your bloodstream,” Genma suggested, plucking the senbon from his mouth. “You’ll sleep like the dead. Or I could help wear you out mysel-- _ow._ Fuck.” Genma cursed, as the heel of Asuma’s shoe slammed into his toes.

“No thanks,” Iruka said lazily, shifting his body to curl his legs up onto the couch. “To both of those.”

“Don’t say that shit in front of me,” Asuma scolded, smoke puffing out of his mouth as he spoke around the cigarette perched between his lips. “And make your move already, dammit. Shikamaru plays better than you, and he’s less than half your age.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Genma asked, finally moving his piece. “My brain will never be that big. Shikamaru’s a genius, just like his father. Now if we wanna talk about DILF’s-”

“-What about them?” Shikaku asked, causing Genma to jump out of his seat. “That was a terrible move.”

Kakashi watched as Genma’s face turned crimson, Shikaku looming behind him.

“Don’t nag me over my shoulder,” Genma pouted.

“Is that not part of the daddy kink?” Shikaku teased, his voice scratchy and rough from an injury to his throat that he never quite recovered from.

“Fuck me,” Genma cursed, sinking down in his chair.

“Can’t, sorry. I’m happily married.”

“Goddammit. I hate this,” Genma groaned, getting to his feet. “I need some air. Feel free to play in my place.”

“I don’t know if even my _Big Brain_ can salvage this mess,” Shikaku said, not quite suppressing his laugh as Genma made to hightail it out of the room.

“You brought it on yourself,” Kakashi drawled as he zoomed past. “Maybe it’ll teach you to stop running your mouth.”

“Shut the hell up, Hatake,” Genma growled.

Kakashi shared a look with Iruka over the top of Icha Icha, both of them smiling in amusement. Iruka _did_ look tired. Dark circles were beginning to bloom beneath his eyes.

“You know...” Kakashi began, closing the book in his lap, a finger stuck between the pages to mark his place. “It’s only been two days since they entered the forest, Iruka. There’s still plenty of time for them to pass.”

Iruka looked at him fondly, and while Kakashi wondered what he did to warrant such a response, Iruka slid his hand slowly across the cushion, his fingertips touching the top of Kakashi’s own.

The contact made him impossibly warm. He overturned his palm in invitation without thought, becoming hyper aware of the many calluses littering his fingertips, nicked into from all the times he’d called his summons over the years.

Iruka touched him gingerly, experimentally, walking his fingers towards his palm. When he reached it, he laid his hand flat, fully encompassing Kakashi’s own. Just as Kakashi went to curl his fingers around Iruka’s, Cat dropped in, causing them both to jump and pull a part, abruptly reminded that they were in public.

“Hatake-san. A word.”

Kakashi got up and walked a few paces away, coming to a stop in a more secluded section of the room. Tenzo threw up a muffling jutsu before speaking.

“You always have the worst timing,” Kakashi complained.

“Sorry, senpai. But this is important. Your ninken came across three bodies along the fence of area 44. They’ve been identified from their papers as the hidden grass shinobi who came to take the exam, except their faces were… blank. Stolen. Mitarashi-san recognized the jutsu immediately.”

Kakashi widened his eyes in shock. This was not good. This was _so_ not good.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, senpai. I examined them myself... It’s Orochimaru.”

_Fuck._

That’s all the confirmation Kakashi needed.

“What can I do?”

“Utilize your ninken to help us sweep the rest of the village. Pakkun gave me the information, but begrudgingly, and only because I happened to intercept him on his way here. I don’t think he’ll do it again, and I know he won’t take orders from me.”

That wasn’t entirely true, but Kakashi kept that to himself. He had told his ninken that Tenzo was one of his “emergency contacts.” If he ever found himself extremely compromised and unable to make it home on his own, there were only two people in his life he trusted not to finish him off. Well, three, now. And his ninken had worked closely with Tenzo while in ANBU, so there was already a trusted, forged bond. However, the last thing Kakashi wanted was for that _bond_ to be used against him--Tenzo already gave him enough shit, he didn’t need his ninken to gang up on him, too.

“The Hokage has been informed,” Tenzo continued. “And dispatched ANBU accordingly. Anko-san already entered on her own.”

“Alright. I’m on it,” Kakashi said, turning to leave.

“Oh, and senpai…”

Kakashi stilled, looking back at him over his shoulder.

“... you look cute together.”

“Fuck off,” Kakashi blushed, as Tenzo disappeared with a laugh.

Kakashi walked back over to the couch where he had absently left his book, picking it up to slip it into his pouch.

“Kakashi…?”

Iruka was looking up at him with worried, questioning eyes. It broke Kakashi’s heart. This was going to be his life now--he never had someone he needed to withhold information from before, and the action sat sour in his stomach.

“I need to go.”

It was the most he could offer.

Iruka swallowed thickly, nodding his head in understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've stuck around, thank you! inspiration is fickle thing.
> 
> i'd love to hear what you thought!! these too are moving slow as molasses... but it's oh so endearing. <3
> 
> bonus:
> 
>  **ladyxdaydream:** i've randomly hc'ed gai as a birdwatcher in this chapter and you know what, i love it 😂
> 
>  **HazelBeka:** Wow who knew Gai had it in him to be quiet and still enough? 😂 Unless he's the kind of bird watcher who immediately scares the birds away by getting too excited 😂😭
> 
>  **ladyxdaydream:** well, when you put it that way.... lmao
> 
> i just think he'd be into the colors and some of the ~dazzling displays~ hahaha
> 
>  **HazelBeka**  
>  Oh he'd definitely enjoy that 
> 
> (...)
> 
>  **ladyxdaydream:** I added a line about gai startling birds away. jshgdsk lmao. its just too good.
> 
>  **HazelBeka:** 🤣🤣🤣🤣 poor Gai. I love him. It's too bad the birds don't LOL
> 
>  **ladyxdaydream:** im just imagining him bursting out of a bush with binoculars in hand.
> 
> "I FOUND YOU!" _birds take off_
> 
> idk why but in my mind hes wearing a hawaiian shirt and shorts 🤣
> 
>  **HazelBeka:** OF COURSE HE IS 🤣🤣🤣🤣 gotta blend in with those tropical colourful birds~ Get into the spirit of things! I bet he's learnt how to do all the birdcalls so he can sing with them 😭❤️
> 
>   
> \---  
> 
> 
> Gai is a birder now. _shrug_. you can't change my mind. XD 
> 
> you can find me [on tumblr](https://ladyxxdaydream.tumblr.com/)!


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